Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

A huge marine mammal known as Steller’s sea cow once lived in the waters around Bering Island off the coast of Siberia. It was described in 1741 by Georg W. Steller, a naturalist who was among the first Europeans to see one. In 1768 the animal became ex v.1

A huge marine mammal known as Steller’s sea cow once lived in the waters around Bering Island off the coast of Siberia. It was described in 1741 by Georg W. Steller, a naturalist who was among the first Europeans to see one. In 1768 the animal became ex v. 1
In this set of material, the reading provides some evidences that suppose some hypothesizes about extinction of Stellar' s sea cow, but the lecturer refuse them by giving explanation. First, the reading claim that native Siberian people may use sea cows as main resources of food and they overhunted them because they were a good and reliable source of food. So, due to overhunting, population of Stellar' s sea cow decreased over the time. In contrast, the lecturer rejects this idea by describing size and weight of sea cow; 90 meter long and 900 kilogram! He claimed that native people didn' t need to hunt this creatures in a large scale because they could alive by just haunting couple of them for long period of time. So, some other reasons except ot this idea can be the main reason of extinction. Second, as reading says, population of kelp, which was the main food source of sea cows, were decreased enormously because of ecological fluctuations. But, the lecturer gave explanations against to the claim. He believes that if kelps' population was affected by ecological changes, why these changes didn' t impacted other creatures like whales too? As he told, reports from fish hunting ships didn' t mentioned any shortages in quantity of fishes. So, this hypothesis could not be true. Third, reading believes that the main reason for sea cow' disappearance could be European fur trades who hunted sea cows to obtain their fur and sell them in market. They usually used weapons and guns that able them to hunt many Stellar' s sea cow in a short period of time. On the contrary, the lecturer rejected this viewpoint too. Based on his speeches, population of Stellar' s sea cow were reduced before European fur trades arrive to Bering island. So, European fur trades were not able to access and hunt many sea cows because their population was already diminished. In conclusion, maybe there is some other reasons exist that can explain Stellar' s sea cows extinction.
In this set of material, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
provides
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
evidences that suppose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
hypothesizes about extinction of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Stellar&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sea
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cow
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lecturer
refuse them by giving explanation.

First
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
claim that native Siberian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sea
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cows
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
main
resources of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
food and
they
Possible spelling mistake found.
overhunted
them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they were a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and reliable source of food.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, due to overhunting,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Stellar&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sea
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cow
decreased over the time.
In contrast
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lecturer
rejects this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
by describing size and weight of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sea
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cow
; 90 meter long and 900
Possible agreement error. The noun 'kilogram' seems to be countable, so consider using: "kilograms".
kilogram
! He claimed that native
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
Possible spelling mistake found.
didn&
#039; t need to hunt
Did you mean "these"?
this
creatures in a large scale
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
It seems that a verb or adverb has been misspelled or is missing here.
could alive
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
haunting couple of them for long period of time.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
except
Possible spelling mistake found.
ot
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
can be the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
of extinction.

Second, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
says,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of kelp, which was the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
main
food source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sea
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cows
,
were decreased
enormously
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of ecological fluctuations.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lecturer
gave explanations against to the claim. He believes that if
Possible spelling mistake found.
kelps&
#039;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by ecological
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
, why these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
Possible spelling mistake found.
didn&
#039; t impacted other creatures like whales too? As he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
, reports from fish hunting ships
Possible spelling mistake found.
didn&
#039; t mentioned any shortages in quantity of fishes.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, this hypothesis could not be true.

Third,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
believes that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sea
Possible spelling mistake found.
cow&
#039; disappearance could be European
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fur
trades who hunted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sea
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cows
to obtain their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fur
and sell them in market. They
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
weapons and guns that able them to hunt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake found.
Stellar&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sea
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cow
in a short period of time.
On the contrary
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lecturer
rejected this viewpoint too. Based on his speeches,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Stellar&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sea
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cow
were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
European
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fur
trades arrive to Bering island.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, European
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fur
trades were not able to access and hunt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sea
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cows
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
was already diminished.

In conclusion
, maybe there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
exist that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
Possible spelling mistake found.
Stellar&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sea
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cows
extinction.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
52Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Mistakes

IELTS essay A huge marine mammal known as Steller’s sea cow once lived in the waters around Bering Island off the coast of Siberia. It was described in 1741 by Georg W. Steller, a naturalist who was among the first Europeans to see one. In 1768 the animal became ex v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
336 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts