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In some cultures the old age is highly valued, while in some cultures youth is highly valued. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

In some cultures the old age is highly valued, while in some cultures youth is highly valued. v. 1
People have different views about the values of the elderly youngsters. Personally, I believe that both of them should be valued equally, since they all significantly contribute to the community and country as a whole. On the one hand, the seniority is mostly appreciated for their abundance of knowledge and wisdom. They are well-experienced and mature, so young generation tend to gain life lessons from their grandparents or great-grandparents. Furthermore, it is obvious that the old keeps a huge number of valuable customs and traditions, therefor, they can be considered to play a key role in preserving and upholding cultural identity. Another key point is that many aged citizens used to devote their lifetime to later generations. For instance, we often see senior people worked as soldiers, doctors or firefighters when they were young. On the other hand, some countries put a great deal of emphasis on young people because of their energy and activeness. Compared to the old, teenagers are more enthusiastic and more willing to take risks. Accordingly, many of them have become great leaders and led the countries to a brighter future through their talents. Besides, in this modern era, some hi-tech fields such as Computer Science or Information Technology are becoming popular, and youngsters are the ones who can develop and boost the economy of a nation by learning about these majors. Finally, these days, young citizens seem to be financially comfortable and therefore engaging voluntary work for the sake of the whole community. In conclusion, due to the aforementioned ground, I strongly believe that the youth and the old should be respected equally as both generations have brought a number of dedications and abilities to the development of the society and the nation.
People
have
different
views about the values of the elderly youngsters.
Personally
, I believe that both of them should
be valued
equally
, since they all
significantly
contribute to the community and country as a whole.

On the one hand, the seniority is
mostly
appreciated for their abundance of knowledge and wisdom. They are well-experienced and mature,
so
young generation tend to gain life lessons from their grandparents or great-grandparents.
Furthermore
, it is obvious that the
old
keeps
a huge number of valuable customs and traditions, therefor, they can
be considered
to play a key role in preserving and upholding cultural identity. Another key point is that
many
aged citizens
used
to devote their lifetime to later generations.
For instance
, we
often
see
senior
people
worked as soldiers, doctors or firefighters when they were young.

On the other hand
,
some
countries put a great deal of emphasis on young
people
because
of their energy and activeness. Compared to the
old
,
teenagers
are more enthusiastic and more willing to take
risks
.
Accordingly
,
many
of them have become great leaders and led the countries to a brighter future through their talents.
Besides
, in this modern era,
some
hi-tech fields such as Computer Science or Information Technology are becoming popular, and youngsters are the ones who can develop and boost the economy of a nation by learning about these majors.
Finally
, these days, young citizens seem to be
financially
comfortable and
therefore
engaging voluntary work for the sake of the whole community.

In conclusion
, due to the aforementioned ground, I
strongly
believe that the youth and the
old
should
be respected
equally as
both generations have brought a number of dedications and abilities to the development of the society and the nation.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay In some cultures the old age is highly valued, while in some cultures youth is highly valued. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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