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In some cultures the old age is highly valued, while in some cultures youth is highly valued. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.2

In some cultures the old age is highly valued, while in some cultures youth is highly valued. v. 2
An often debated topic is whether advertising has a major influence on the growing similarity of people's lifestyle in the modern world. Personally, I partly agree with this opinion for a number of reasons. On the other hand, the power of advertising is undeniable. The growth of the advertising industry has resulted in many people buying products of the same manufacture, which can be seen in the case of consumer goods. Today, the advertising campaigns of multinational companies such as Unilever have been so successful that their products almost dominate the market. Smaller enterprises tend not to be able to compete with these giant market leaders due to their disadvantages of capital poured into advertising programs. Thus, customers are often swayed to buy products of famous brands rather than those made by less well-know companies. On the other hand, it is also true that people have the tendency to copy other's lifestyle without being affected by advertising. For example, it is valid to argue that many young people are trying to emulate the fashion styles of their idols. Many Vietnamese youths manage to purchase the same clothes, dye their hair and wear the same perfume as their stars do. People can also turn to their social relations for advice when they need to buy something. For instance, junior citizens always ask their friends before they come to a final decision on buy a smart phone. In conclusion, it is true that advertising has bridged the gap between each individual's lifestyle in modern society. However, I believe that it is not the sole factor that contributes to the trend.
An
often
debated topic is whether advertising has a major influence on the growing similarity of
people
's lifestyle in the modern world.
Personally
, I partly
agree
with this opinion for a number of reasons.

On the other hand
, the power of advertising is undeniable. The growth of the advertising industry has resulted in
many
people
buying products of the same manufacture, which can be
seen
in the case of consumer
goods
.
Today
, the advertising campaigns of multinational
companies
such as Unilever have been
so
successful that their products almost dominate the market. Smaller enterprises tend not to be able to compete with these giant market leaders due to their disadvantages of capital poured into advertising programs.
Thus
, customers are
often
swayed to
buy
products of
famous
brands
rather
than those made by less well-know
companies
.

On the other hand
, it is
also
true that
people
have the tendency to copy other's lifestyle without being
affected
by advertising.
For example
, it is valid to argue that
many
young
people
are trying to emulate the fashion styles of their idols.
Many
Vietnamese youths manage to
purchase
the same clothes, dye their hair and wear the same perfume as their stars do.
People
can
also
turn to their social relations for advice when they need to
buy
something.
For instance
, junior citizens always ask their friends
before
they
come
to a final decision on
buy
a smart phone.

In conclusion
, it is true that advertising has bridged the gap between each individual's lifestyle in modern society.
However
, I believe that it is not the sole factor that contributes to the trend.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay In some cultures the old age is highly valued, while in some cultures youth is highly valued. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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