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In some cultures the old age is highly valued, while in some cultures youth is highly valued. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.3

In some cultures the old age is highly valued, while in some cultures youth is highly valued. v. 3
People hold different opinions on the role of the elderly and the youth in the development of a country. While some countries highly appreciate the old age, others value the youth. Personally, I believe that both of the age groups are equal importance in socio-economic development. On the one hand, it is apparent that the contribution of senior citizens to the unity of society is undeniable. The first reason for this is that the older generation has been considered as mentors and inspirers for youngsters based on their life and work experiences. For example, in families, parents and grandparents can give their offsprings pieces of advice to tackle various difficulties in the life. Also, with their prestige, they are important consultants for organizations and businesses. Another reason is that the elderly have been dedicated their whole life to nurturing children in their family and working for fulfilling the responsibilities at work and in society. For these sacrifices, it is important for communities to treat them with respect. On the other hand, it is common knowledge that the young generations play a vital role as the creators and shapers of a nation’s tomorrow. Firstly, with being full of energetic and enthusiastic, the likelihood of the youth creating a huge source of well-educated and well-trained labour is high, which is a motivator to boost national productivity. This vibrant workforce would bring potential benefits in which the government could allocate other resources to developing their country effectively. Secondly, in the digital era with advances in technology that have made fundamental changes to the way life operates, younger people are more creative and can respond quickly to these innovations. To illustrate this, various jobs nowadays done automatically by computers, machines and online platforms could offer the youth more opportunities to find new methods for the tasks instead of traditional measures. For this reason, it is essential that investing in the youth development needs to be high on governments’ agenda. In conclusion, it seems to me that both the elderly and young people have equally significant impacts on the prosperity of a country. < br>
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
hold
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinions on the role of the elderly and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
in the development of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
highly
appreciate the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age, others value the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
.
Personally
, I believe that both of the age groups are equal importance in
Possible spelling mistake found.
socio-economic
development.

On the one hand, it is apparent that the contribution of senior citizens to the unity of society is undeniable. The
first
reason for this is that the older generation has
been considered
as mentors and
Possible spelling mistake found.
inspirers
for youngsters based on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and work experiences.
For example
, in families, parents and grandparents can give their
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
pieces of advice to tackle various difficulties in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Also
, with their prestige, they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
consultants for organizations and businesses. Another reason is that the elderly have
been dedicated
their whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
to nurturing children in their family and working for fulfilling the responsibilities at work and in society. For these sacrifices, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for communities to treat them with respect.

On the other hand
, it is common knowledge that the young generations play a vital role as the creators and shapers of a nation’s tomorrow.
Firstly
, with being full of energetic and enthusiastic, the likelihood of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
creating a huge source of well-educated and well-trained
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
is high, which is a motivator to boost national productivity. This vibrant workforce would bring potential benefits in which the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
could allocate other resources to developing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
effectively
.
Secondly
, in the digital era with advances in technology that have made fundamental
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
to the way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
operates, younger
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are more creative and can respond
quickly
to these innovations. To illustrate this, various jobs nowadays done
automatically
by computers, machines and online platforms could offer the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
more opportunities to find new methods for the tasks
instead
of traditional measures.
For this reason
, it is essential that investing in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
development needs to be high on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
’ agenda.

In conclusion
, it seems to me that both the elderly and young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have
equally
significant impacts on the prosperity of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
&lt
;
Possible spelling mistake found.
br&gt
;
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay In some cultures the old age is highly valued, while in some cultures youth is highly valued. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
350 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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