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Today, more and more students are deciding to move to another country for their studies. Do you think this is causing more good than harm for the home countries? v.5

Today, more and more students are deciding to move to another country for their studies. Do you think this is causing more good than harm for the home countries? v. 5
Students moving out of the shores of their native countries for studying purposes had been on the increase in recent times. In my opinion, I think this action poses more danger as its cause a decline in the educational sector as well as a huge economic loss to their home country. Firstly, educational tourism results in the neglect of the academic institution due to students immigrating for foreign studies, this will in turn reduce the total turn out of students in these schools. This could discourage funding from government and international donor agencies who are only motivated to support schools with the large student turnout. For instance, only universities with at least 10000 students are eligible for UNICEF annual grants. Furthermore, academic tourism could also result into the brain drain of the best students who most times prefers to stay back in the countries of studies for jobs and better opportunities. Another point to consider that academic tourism results in a drastic reduction in the economy of the departing countries, as millions of dollars are spent annually on tuition fees, accommodation and travel expenses by foreign students. This huge amount is significantly sufficient to upgrade and develop tertiary institutions in the home countries of these students. For example, the Nigerian Ministry of Education estimated that about 13 million dollars was spent on studying overseas in the last quarter of 2019, this huge amount if injected into the economy is not only enough to upgrade about 13 major Universities in Nigeria but will also create about 6000 direct and indirect employment. In conclusion, in as much as there are merits to studying overseas, I think the demerits such as higher institution abandonment and lose of valuable incomes to the home countries overshadows these advantages.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
moving out of the shores of their native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
for studying purposes had been on the increase in recent times. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this action poses more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
as its cause a decline in the educational sector
as well
as a huge economic loss to their home country.

Firstly
, educational tourism results in the neglect of the academic institution due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
immigrating for foreign studies, this will in turn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the total turn out of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in these schools. This could discourage funding from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and international donor agencies who are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
motivated to support schools with the large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
turnout.
For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
universities with at least 10000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are eligible for UNICEF annual grants.
Furthermore
, academic tourism could
also
result into the brain drain of the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who most times prefers to stay back in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
of studies for jobs and better opportunities.

Another point to consider that academic tourism results in a drastic reduction in the economy of the departing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, as millions of dollars
are spent
annually
on tuition fees, accommodation and travel expenses by foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. This huge amount is
significantly
sufficient to upgrade and develop tertiary institutions in the home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
For example
, the Nigerian Ministry of Education estimated that about 13 million dollars
was spent
on studying overseas in the last quarter of 2019, this huge amount if injected into the economy is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to upgrade about 13 major Universities in Nigeria
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
will
also
create about 6000 direct and indirect employment.

In conclusion
, in as much as there are merits to studying overseas, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the demerits such as higher institution abandonment and lose of valuable incomes to the home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
overshadows these advantages.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Today, more and more students are deciding to move to another country for their studies. Do you think this is causing more good than harm for the home countries? v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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