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Some people advocate the death penalty for those who committed violent crimes. Others say that capital punishment is unacceptable in contemporary society. Describe the advantages and disadvantages of the death penalty and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.1

Some people advocate the death penalty for those who committed violent crimes. Others say that capital punishment is unacceptable in contemporary society. Describe the advantages and disadvantages of the death penalty and give your opinion. v. 1
It is correctly said that people who are committed severe crimes should be given sentence to death. On the other hand, some believe that, in traditional society, there should be no corporal punishment. While, there are advantages and disadvantages associated with this topic. But, in my opinion, it is better to give death for committing crimes. In our society, there are some individuals, who are always trying to do unsocial activities. First off, in India, recent situation shows that the terrorists killed innocent people without any reason. However, police authority caught these people and they will be hanged immediately. By showing this, nobody now will have courage to do this type of crime. Additionally, the famous Priyanka Reddy's Rape case, all the five criminals were encountered to death by the police department. Thus, I strongly believe that the death penalty must be given for a proper lesson to all the individuals. Moreover, the contemporary society believes that physical punishment should be prohibited who are doing criminal violence. But it has lots of limitations. For example, now-a-days, drug addiction is very much dangerous for the young stars. If, there should not be any punishment over it, then one day, it will destroy the whole nation. Despite this, social problems may occur for creating disturbances in society by conducting some unsocial activities like stealing, gambling, robbery etc. Therefore, I believe that no punishment will increase more crimes. All in all, there are a few disadvantages for the death penalty, yet, there are a plethora of advantages over it. So, in my opinion, sentence of death must be given for conducting criminal violence. Otherwise, it will hamper the growth of the whole nation.
It is
correctly
said that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
are committed
severe crimes should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
sentence to death.
On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that, in traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, there should be no corporal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
. While, there are advantages and disadvantages associated with this topic.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, in my opinion, it is better to give death for committing crimes.

In our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals, who are always trying to do unsocial activities.
First
off, in India, recent situation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that the terrorists killed innocent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
without any reason.
However
, police authority caught these
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
people and
they will
be hanged
immediately. By showing this, nobody
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
will have courage to do this type of crime.
Additionally
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
Priyanka Reddy's Rape case, all the five criminals
were encountered
to death by the police department.
Thus
, I
strongly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that the death penalty
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
for a proper lesson to all the individuals.

Moreover
, the contemporary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believes
that physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
should
be prohibited
who are doing criminal violence.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it has lots of limitations.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
-a-days, drug addiction is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for the young stars. If, there should not be any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
over it, then one day, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
the whole nation. Despite this, social problems may occur for creating disturbances in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
by conducting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
unsocial activities like stealing, gambling, robbery etc.
Therefore
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
will increase more crimes.

All in all, there are a few disadvantages for the death penalty,
yet
, there are a plethora of advantages over it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, in my opinion, sentence of death
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
for conducting criminal violence.
Otherwise
, it will hamper the growth of the whole nation.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay Some people advocate the death penalty for those who committed violent crimes. Others say that capital punishment is unacceptable in contemporary society. Describe the advantages and disadvantages of the death penalty and give your opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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