Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

today many people spend too much money on leisure activities. Is it advantageous or disadvantageous? v.1

today many people spend too much money on leisure activities. Is it advantageous or disadvantageous? v. 1
The "dot com" boom, which began in the early 2000s, continues to boom and grow, despite naysayers waiting for the burst of the bubble. E-commerce is dominating every sector of the economy and virtually every product can now be bought on the world wide web. From books, air-tickets, groceries to clothes, makeup, electronics, the internet caters to the daily as well as specific individual needs. Web sites like Amazon, which has now become a giant corporation, boasts that all products from A to Z can be found on its website. The biggest advantage of online shopping is the ease of purchase. Everything is available at the click of a button and delivered right at your doorstep. Furthermore, most of the e-commerce companies offer attractive discounts which add to the advantage of buying things on the internet. Consider the following scenario: To buy an airline or a train coupon before websites like Skyscanner, Traveloka or MakeMyTrip became commonplace, meant having to drive to the relevant purchase your coupon or contacting a travel agent, who on top of the already expensive ticket prices, adds his own commission. In contrast, all that we need to do to buy a ticket nowadays, is log-on to our favourite website and buy the ticket most suitable for us. All from the click of a button on our computers or mobile phones. The flip side of the meteoric rise of e-commerce is the severe impact on traditional commerce. Many offline, brick-and-mortar stores are finding it increasingly difficult to compete with these giant online corporations. Especially hit is the mom-and-pop stores, which are small, family-run business, which cannot deem to compete with the attractive prices offered by online stores. However, the customer is king continues to rule, and the advantages of online shopping are outweighing its disadvantages. Brick-and-mortar stores are now vying to compete with online stores and offering similar competitive prices. Mom-and-pop stores are now opening themselves up to selling more products, opening up a new niche market of products. And in all, the economy is booming as spending is increasing. And in the end, the average customer is happy and continues to be spoilt for choice.
The
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
dot com
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
boom, which began in the early 2000s, continues to boom and grow, despite naysayers waiting for the burst of the bubble. E-commerce is dominating every sector of the economy and
virtually
every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
on the
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
world wide web
. From books, air-tickets, groceries to clothes, makeup, electronics, the internet caters to the daily
as well
as specific individual needs.
Did you mean "Websites"?
Web sites
like Amazon, which has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
become a giant corporation, boasts that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
from A to Z can
be found
on its website.

The biggest advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shopping is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
. Everything is available at the click of a button and delivered right at your doorstep.
Furthermore
, most of the e-commerce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
offer attractive discounts which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
to the advantage of buying things on the internet. Consider the following scenario: To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
an airline or a train coupon
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
websites like
Possible spelling mistake found.
Skyscanner
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Traveloka
or
Possible spelling mistake found.
MakeMyTrip
became commonplace, meant having to drive to the relevant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
your coupon or contacting a travel agent, who on top of the already expensive ticket prices,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
commission.
In contrast
, all that we need to do to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a ticket nowadays, is log-on to our
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
website and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the ticket most suitable for us. All from the click of a button on our computers or mobile phones.

The flip side of the meteoric rise of e-commerce is the severe impact on traditional commerce.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
offline, brick-and-mortar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
are finding it
increasingly
difficult to compete with these giant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
corporations.
Especially
hit is the mom-and-pop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
, which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
, family-run business, which cannot deem to compete with the attractive prices offered by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
stores.

However
, the customer is king continues to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
, and the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shopping are outweighing its disadvantages. Brick-and-mortar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
vying to compete with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
and offering similar competitive prices. Mom-and-pop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
opening themselves up to selling more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, opening up a new niche market of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. And in all, the economy is booming as spending is increasing. And in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, the average customer is happy and continues to be
Possible spelling mistake. 'spoilt' is British English.
spoilt
for choice.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay today many people spend too much money on leisure activities. Is it advantageous or disadvantageous? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
360 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts