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Women are better parents than men. Or women are only as good as men in parenting. How far do you agree to this statement? v.1

Women are better parents than men. Or women are only as good as men in parenting. How far v. 1
Technology is a great blessing for mankind. It is argued that technology has made people more active on the social level unlike past. I completely agree with this statement as I have witnessed the technological advancement since my childhood. This essay discusses the various benefits and examples of this development. Technology has provided ample communication tools which aid people to stay in touch with their love ones round the clock. They are facilitated to call anyone all around the world with just a few clicks of the mouse. For instance, Facebook, Skype and WhatsApp are internet based applications which diminish the communication barrier between people. They can send messages or make calls whenever they need to do. Therefore, people are more social just because of new gadgets and user friendly interference of communication software. Furthermore, since people need to travel long distances to meet their relatives or friends, they find travelling the most cumbersome part of their meeting. We should say thanks to technology because we can meet our near ones and at the same time we can enjoy the journey comfortably. For example, a person can travel from Canada to India in a few hours via plane and enjoy watching movies, listening to music and reading books during the journey. In addition to this, it is quite economical for everyone to use latest technology because scientists are constantly working to improve it. To conclude, as we are getting more and more advanced gadgets and travelling facilities, I must say people are more social than ever before.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
is a great blessing for mankind. It
is argued
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
more active on the social level unlike past. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement as I have witnessed the technological advancement since my childhood. This essay discusses the various benefits and examples of this development.

Technology has provided ample communication tools which aid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to stay in touch with their
Did you mean "loved ones"?
love ones
round the clock. They
are facilitated
to call anyone all around the world with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a few clicks of the mouse.
For instance
, Facebook, Skype and WhatsApp are internet based applications which diminish the communication barrier between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. They can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
messages or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
calls whenever they need to do.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more social
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of new gadgets and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
user friendly
interference of communication software.

Furthermore
, since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to travel long distances to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their relatives or friends, they find travelling the most cumbersome part of their meeting. We should say thanks to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
our near ones and at the same time we can enjoy the journey
comfortably
.
For example
, a person can travel from Canada to India in a few hours via
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plane
and enjoy watching movies, listening to music and reading books during the journey.
In addition
to this, it is quite economical for everyone to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
scientists are
constantly
working to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
it.

To conclude
, as we are getting more and more advanced gadgets and travelling facilities, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
say
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more social than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Women are better parents than men. Or women are only as good as men in parenting. How far v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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