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In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.13

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development? v. 13
As the population of the world is growing manifold each year, a large number of citizens prefer easy and comprehensive shopping rather than the old school local vendors. In my view, this is a positive development due to the numerous advantages offered by malls. Firstly, a large shopping complex offers a variety of options in terms of product range to the consumers who can not only choose, but compare the various aspects across various manufacturers. In fact, products like clothing, electronic gadgets, kitchenware and makeup accessories, are all available in abundance with multiple options, designs, colours and brands. Since everything is available under a single roof, a person doesn’t have to hop from one location to another in order to buy different product categories. For instance, in Delhi, Kamla Nagar market has an array of big and small shops selling a variety of goods. It used to be a favourite among the masses during festivals like Diwali and Rakshabandhan but with the onset of shopping centres like the DLF Mall Of India and Select Citywalk, it is not so frequently visited since consumers have now resorted to flexible and convenient options due to lack of time and space. Therefore, shopping centres have marked the beginning of comfortable shopping. Secondly, the major issue of parking has been resolved with these shopping arcades coming into picture. For example, earlier, when local vendors used to operate, pupils used to park their cars alongside roads, leading to bottleneck jams and road rage. They were also worried about the safety of their vehicle while shopping due to the fear of getting it towed away by local authorities. This issue has been solved now since all the vehicles are parked in an underground basement where there are security personnel who are looking after them. Thus, shopping areas have brought another major convenience to people by providing huge parking space for a hassle free experience. To conclude, shopping malls have facilitated a smoother shopping experience than smaller vendors by stocking all items under one roof and eliminating the parking woes.
As the population of the world is growing manifold each year,
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
citizens prefer easy and comprehensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
rather
than the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
school local vendors. In my view, this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development due to the numerous advantages offered by malls.

Firstly
, a large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
complex offers a variety of options in terms of product range to the consumers who can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
choose,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
compare the various aspects across various manufacturers. In fact, products like clothing, electronic gadgets, kitchenware and makeup accessories, are all available in abundance with multiple options, designs,
Possible spelling mistake. 'colours' is British English.
colours
and brands. Since everything is available under a single roof, a person doesn’t
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
hop from one location to another in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
product categories.
For instance
, in Delhi,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kamla
Nagar market has an array of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
shops selling a variety of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be a
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
among the masses during festivals like Diwali and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Rakshabandhan
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with the onset of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
like the DLF Mall Of India and Select
Possible spelling mistake found.
Citywalk
, it is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
frequently
visited since consumers have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
resorted to flexible and convenient options due to lack of time and space.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
have marked the beginning of comfortable shopping.

Secondly
, the major issue of parking has
been resolved
with these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
arcades coming into picture.
For example
, earlier, when local vendors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to operate, pupils
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to park their cars alongside roads, leading to bottleneck jams and road rage. They were
also
worried about the safety of their vehicle while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
due to the fear of getting it towed away by local authorities. This issue has
been solved
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
since all the vehicles
are parked
in an underground basement where there are security personnel who are looking after them.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
areas have brought another major convenience to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
by providing huge parking space for a hassle free experience.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
malls have facilitated a smoother
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
experience than smaller vendors by stocking all items under one roof and eliminating the parking woes.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
One should not aim at being possible to understand but at being impossible to misunderstand.
Marcus Fabius Quintilian

IELTS essay In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development? v. 13

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
343 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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