Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Tobacco is a kind of drug. People have been free to use it. Some people think that it should be illegal to use it compared with other drugs. v.3

Tobacco is a kind of drug. People have been free to use it. Some people think that it should be illegal to use it compared with other drugs. v. 3
In the wake of the social revolution, people nowadays are increasingly addicted to various drugs in different forms. Tobacco is one such drug, which is considered to be in the top four of most addictive drugs. Many believe that owing to its addiction and its treacherous effects on human body, it should be banned. In apropos of the argument, I am in consummate accord with it and I believe that consumption of tobacco in any form must be prohibited. This opinion is surrounded by multiple arguments as below. To begin with, people are increasingly showing the propensity of using tobacco products because of the change in social structure. In other words, over the years, most of the families have become nuclear and adults are not under any guidance to be protected from smoking habits. For an instance, as per a survey in the USA, 70% of the adults have affirmed that they were inclined to use cigarettes as they did not have anyone at home to guide and show adequate direction. Thus, the onus is on the government to declare tobacco production and sell as illegal. In addition, smoking has horrendous repercussion on the human body, which is evidently paralysing the youth of a nation. In a survey in the USA, 60% of the teenagers have confirmed addiction and health ailments germinated by such drugs. Admittedly, it is weakening a nation's health index and consequently, its prosperity. As a result, it is mandatory to ban such drugs to reinvigorate the health of the denizens. To sum up, owing to tobacco's addictive features and its adverse effects on human health, it is imperative that government must interfere and prohibit such drugs to be sold and used.
In the wake of the social revolution,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
nowadays are
increasingly
addicted to various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
forms.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Tobacco
is one such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
, which
is considered
to be in the top four of most addictive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
believe that owing to its addiction and its treacherous effects on human body, it should
be banned
. In apropos of the argument, I am in consummate accord with it and I believe that consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tobacco
in any form
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be prohibited
. This opinion
is surrounded
by multiple arguments as below.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
increasingly
showing the propensity of using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tobacco
products
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in social structure.
In other words
, over the years, most of the families have become nuclear and adults are not under any guidance to
be protected
from smoking habits. For an instance, as per a survey in the USA, 70% of the adults have affirmed that they
were inclined
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
cigarettes as they did not have anyone at home to guide and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
adequate direction.
Thus
, the onus is on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to declare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tobacco
production and sell as illegal.

In addition
, smoking has horrendous repercussion on the human body, which is
evidently
Possible spelling mistake. 'paralysing' is British English.
paralysing
the youth of a nation. In a survey in the USA, 60% of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
have confirmed addiction and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
ailments germinated by such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
.
Admittedly
, it is weakening a nation's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
index and
consequently
, its prosperity.
As a result
, it is mandatory to ban such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
to reinvigorate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
of the denizens.

To sum up, owing to tobacco's addictive features and its adverse effects on human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, it is imperative that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
interfere and prohibit such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
to
be sold
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
Roger Ascham

IELTS essay Tobacco is a kind of drug. People have been free to use it. Some people think that it should be illegal to use it compared with other drugs. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts