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To what extent will migration from the developing world to the developed world become a social and political issue in the 21st century v.1

To what extent will migration from the developing world to the developed world become a social and political issue in the 21st century v.1
Nowadays, urbanization happens in many places all around the world so the cities usually have to deal with many types of social issues. Some people think that the government should advise people to move to different places like regional town and from my point of view, it could be an ideal way to solve all the problems. As far as I know, crime rate in large cities has dramatically increased the recent years. It is true that some authorities have failed to control the using of guns leading to many consequences. The traffic jam is another popular problem that urban residents have to deal with. The eco-system is also being threatened by the numerous number of vehicles. As a result, pollutions have significantly risen in urban areas leading to many environmental problems. As I mention, people living in big cities have to face many problems in everyday life. There are many reasons why people should move to the regional towns instead of living in big cities. Firstly, the government can solve the over-population problems and reduce the economic disparities in different territories. Secondly, all the traffic issues can be decreased and the police force could be able to control the criminals. The social life would be safer in the future. Moreover, the environment would be greener and the people will not have to suffer from climate change. We are living in a 21st century where people have many modern problems to face with. Personally, I think some city residents should move to regional towns so that they can reduce the issues. The quality of life could improve in the near future if we made the right decisions.
Nowadays, urbanization happens in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
places all around the world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
usually
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
deal with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
types of social issues.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should advise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
places like regional town and from my point of view, it could be an ideal way to solve all the problems.

As far as I know, crime rate in large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
has
dramatically
increased the recent years. It is true that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
authorities have failed to control the using of guns leading to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
consequences. The traffic jam is another popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
that urban residents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
deal with. The
Possible spelling mistake found.
eco-system
is
also
being threatened
by the numerous number of vehicles.
As a result
, pollutions have
significantly
risen in urban areas leading to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. As I mention,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in everyday life.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to the regional towns
instead
of living in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
Firstly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can solve the over-population
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the economic disparities in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
territories.
Secondly
, all the traffic issues can
be decreased
and the police force could be able to control the criminals. The social life would be safer in the future.
Moreover
, the environment would be greener and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
suffer from climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.

We are living in a 21st century where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
to face with.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
city residents should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to regional towns
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the issues. The quality of life could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
in the near future if we made the right decisions.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay To what extent will migration from the developing world to the developed world become a social and political issue in the 21st century v.1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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