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Some people consider price as most important thing to think about when buying product (such as cell phone) or service (e. g medical treatment). Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people consider price as most important thing to think about when buying product (such as cell phone) or service (e. g medical treatment). v. 1
Price of any item is considered to be the most important factor to make a decision to buy a certain product such as mobile phone or any kind of service which may be a medical treatment also. I believe that making a decision to buy any item should depend on the necessity of the product rather than its price. On the one hand, purchasing any item, which is not really required, just by looking at the lower or discounted price result in unnecessary spending. For instance, these days, online shopping sites are trending all over the world and such sites give a huge discount during festival sales, which usually make any shopaholic person to get attracted towards these items and most of the time those person end up buying the items without even realizing the actual need of it. This result in wastage of the hard-earned money. Additionally, few products are used just to fulfil the basic purpose, so one should not splurge their hard-earned money by buying expensive items until and unless they are sure about using its additional features. On the other hand, people sometimes need to buy few things which are absolutely necessary for their livings like medical help and good education. Paying huge amount for such things will always provide good returns in the future, therefore an individual should not think about the price before buying these. In other words, people should always look for the best when it comes to the necessities of life, without which somebody cannot survive or lead a good life. Education is one such thing as youth who get good education will get better career options and will be able to earn better than those who did not complete a course because of its higher fees. In conclusion, while people ought to think about the cost of products before making any purchase, I think price should only be taken into account after considering the item's necessity.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Price
of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
item
is considered
to be the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a decision to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
such as mobile phone or any kind of service which may be a medical treatment
also
. I believe that making a decision to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
item
should depend on the necessity of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
rather
than its price.

On the one hand, purchasing any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
item
, which is not
really
required,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
by looking at the lower or discounted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
result in unnecessary spending.
For instance
, these days, online shopping sites are trending all over the world and such sites give a huge discount during festival sales, which
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
any shopaholic person to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
attracted towards these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
and most of the time those person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up buying the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
without even realizing the actual need of it. This result in wastage of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-earned money.
Additionally
, few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to fulfil the basic purpose,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
one should not splurge their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-earned money by buying expensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
until and unless they are sure about using its additional features.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
few things which are
absolutely
necessary for their livings like medical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
education. Paying huge amount for such things will always provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
The usual collocation for "returns" is "to" not "in" with. Did you mean "returns to"?
returns in
the future,
therefore
an individual should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
buying these.
In other words
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should always look for the best when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to the necessities of life, without which somebody cannot survive or lead a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
life. Education is one such thing as youth who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
education will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better career options and will be able to earn better than those who did not complete a course
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its higher fees.

In conclusion
, while
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
ought to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about the cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
making any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be taken
into account after considering the item's necessity.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay Some people consider price as most important thing to think about when buying product (such as cell phone) or service (e. g medical treatment). v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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