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To what extent has the Internet made life more convenient? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience? v.8

To what extent has the Internet made life more convenient? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience? v.8
With the invention of the Internet several decades ago, human beings have experienced the widespread impact of it, mostly positive with a few negative signs as well. There are numerous benefits connected with the appearance of the Internet. Firstly, the Internet has played an obvious role as a connector for the whole mankind, which means that people can use it to get in touch with their relatives and friends by messaging or video-calling each other through some applications on the Internet without paying huge amounts of money in comparison to the phone use in the past. Secondly, the development of the Internet has led to the appearance of new services and technology based on the Internet, which has made our life much easier. For example, people had to go out to buy a pizza in the past, but now they can conveniently choose and order their favourite pizza using an application on their smart phones. It is clear that the Internet has also brought countless numbers of services and developments for our society as we cannot list all in this writing. However, the Internet has come to human civilization without no drawbacks. The first negative influence is on human physical health because when amounts of time one using the Internet increase, time for physical activities will decrease. Another demerit of the Internet is that it has enabled new types of crime to exist: cyber-crime or digital crime. If there was no the Internet, these kinds of crime would not have appeared. Individuals and governments are spending a lot of money and time tackling these kinds of crime. To sum up, it is no doubt that humans have been beneficial greatly due to the existence of the Internet. Nevertheless, the Internet has shown some problematic issues as well. It is recommended that individuals and governments should co-operate closely to decrease the negative impact of this glamorous invention.
With the invention of the Internet several decades ago,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings have experienced the widespread impact of it,
mostly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
with a few
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
signs
as well
.

There are numerous benefits connected with the appearance of the Internet.
Firstly
, the Internet has played an obvious role as a connector for the whole mankind, which means that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
in touch with their relatives and friends by messaging or video-calling each other through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
applications on the Internet without paying huge amounts of money
in comparison
to the phone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in the past.
Secondly
, the development of the Internet has led to the appearance of new services and technology based on the Internet, which has made our life much easier.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
had to go out to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a pizza in the past,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
they can
conveniently
choose and order their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
pizza using an application on their smart phones. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the Internet has
also
brought countless numbers of services and developments for our society as we cannot list all in this writing.

However
, the Internet has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
civilization without no drawbacks. The
first
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influence is on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
physical health
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when amounts of time one using the Internet increase, time for physical activities will decrease. Another demerit of the Internet is that it has enabled new types of crime to exist: cyber-crime or digital crime. If there was
Did you mean "now" (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
no
the Internet, these kinds of crime would not have appeared. Individuals and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
are spending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money and time tackling these kinds of crime.

To sum up, it is no doubt that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
have been beneficial
greatly
due to the existence of the Internet.
Nevertheless
, the Internet has shown
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problematic issues
as well
. It
is recommended
that individuals and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should co-operate
closely
to decrease the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact of this glamorous invention.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay To what extent has the Internet made life more convenient? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience? v.8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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