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Some young people look forward to a gear of travelling, a "gap year" before they begin work or university and see it as a chance to broaden their horizons. For others this is an expensive waste of time. Discuss both views and give your o v.2

Some young people look forward to a gear of travelling, a "gap year" before they begin work or university and see it as a chance to broaden their horizons. For others this is an expensive waste of time. 2
Originated from western cultures, gap year, a year of travelling after school, is becoming familiar even in eastern cultures, such as in China, Japan or Vietnam. The attitudes towards this practice are controversal due to its mixed impacts. On the negative side, there are some obvious unfavourable consequences of gap year. Many people argue that school leavers are unable to afford this kind of trips, their parents are inevitably the one who pay for these expenses, which is somehow a burden to the whole family. Another demerit is the waste of one year instead of going to college. It is undoubtedly time-consuming and may affect the graduation process of the students. However, supporters of this belief can announce a list of beneficial results of gap year. The first in-favoured outcome is that this trip can give a chance for newly school graduated students to meet people of diverse social and cultural backgrounds, which they have never done during their school years. As a result, they can gain a deep understanding of human beings and society, thus, may become more tolerant to differences. Another benefit is the likely improved health of travellers as they have time to relax and enjoy themselves after a long period of schooling. Taking both points of view into consideration, I personally support the practice of gap year due to hugely obvious benefits it brings. To solve the financial matter of travelling, students can do part-time work during this year to alleviate their parents’ financial burden. In terms of late graduation, it can be marginal in comparison to their long-life career. In brief, the benefits of gap year obviously outweigh the adverse consequences.
Originated from western cultures,
gap
year
, a
year
of travelling after
school
, is becoming familiar even in eastern cultures, such as in China, Japan or Vietnam. The attitudes towards this practice are
controversal
due to its mixed impacts.

On the
negative
side, there are
some
obvious
unfavourable
consequences of
gap
year
.
Many
people
argue that
school leavers
are unable to afford this kind of trips, their parents are
inevitably
the one who pay for these expenses, which is somehow a burden to the whole family. Another demerit is the waste of one
year
instead
of going to college. It is
undoubtedly
time-consuming and may affect the graduation process of the students.

However
, supporters of this belief can announce a list of beneficial results of
gap
year
. The
first
in-favoured
outcome is that this trip can give a chance for
newly
school
graduated students to
meet
people
of diverse social and cultural backgrounds, which they have never done during their
school
years.
As a result
, they can gain a deep understanding of human beings and society,
thus
, may become more tolerant to differences. Another benefit is the likely
improved
health of
travellers
as they have time to relax and enjoy themselves after a long period of schooling.

Taking both points of view into consideration, I
personally
support the practice of
gap
year
due to
hugely
obvious benefits it brings. To solve the financial matter of travelling, students can do part-time work during this
year
to alleviate their parents’ financial burden. In terms of late graduation, it can be marginal
in comparison
to their long-life career.
In brief
, the benefits of
gap
year
obviously
outweigh the adverse consequences.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some young people look forward to a gear of travelling, a "gap year" before they begin work or university and see it as a chance to broaden their horizons. For others this is an expensive waste of time. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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