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To some people studying the past has little value in the modern world. Why do you think it is important to learn the past? What will be the effect if children are not taught history? v.4

To some people studying the past has little value in the modern world. Why do you think it is important to learn the past? What will be the effect if children are not taught history? v. 4
Learning the history might not have any or little importance for some people in these days, but, the history and past can’t be ignored. The present is built on the pillars of past and only learning from the past can give us right direction for the future.   In my point of view, something that happened in the past, need to be learned to go ahead with the right decisions. If the new generations are not taught history, they will not have any respect towards the past struggle or glory of the country and thus they won’t become the citizens we want them to be. Learning the past is the knowledge we require to learn about the right and wrong. This gives us the opportunity to take the right decision for the future. If someone does not learn the past history, he will never have any respect for the country, humanity and towards the world. He will simply become a selfish citizen who won’t even respect the rich tradition of a country. To his everything would be like an automated and programmed system. Through history learning, children should be introduced to their country, culture, and tradition. This is hoped to become a first step to building a soul of nationality in students themselves. If children do not know the history of their country, they will have no idea how to build the nation. For example, if children grow up without learning the past of their country and become a future policy maker, they will never realize the need of their country and won’t be able to take a right decision. Secondly, students who learn about history will understand how their ancestors survived to get the independence of their country. So, from this understanding, children may have a good motivation to develop their ability in order to contribute to the building of their country; physically and mentality. Students without this ability usually will have a lack of contribution to their nation. For instance, the children who live in another country for a long time and do not learn about Indonesian history will tend to never come back to build Indonesia, even though Indonesian society needs their contribution. In conclusion, based on reasons mentioned above, history learning is needed by students to build their nationality and motivate them to contribute to their country. Learning the past is the first step to building a better future.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Learning
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
might not have any or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
importance for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in these days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
can’t be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
. The present
is built
on the pillars of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
can give us
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
direction for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
In my point of view, something that happened in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
, need to
be learned
to go ahead with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
decisions. If the new generations are not taught
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
, they will not have any respect towards the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
struggle or glory of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and
thus
they won’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
the citizens we want them to be.

Learning the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
is the knowledge we require to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
. This gives us the opportunity to take the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
decision for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
. If someone does not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
, he will never have any respect for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, humanity and towards the world. He will
simply
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a selfish citizen who won’t even respect the rich tradition of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. To his everything would be like an automated and programmed system. Through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
be introduced
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, culture, and tradition. This
is hoped
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a
first
step to building a soul of nationality in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
themselves. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
do not know the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, they will have no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
how to build the nation.
For example
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
grow up without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
policy maker
, they will never realize the need of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and won’t be able to take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
decision.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
will understand how their ancestors survived to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the independence of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, from this understanding,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
may have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
motivation to develop their ability in order to contribute to the building of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
;
physically
and mentality.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
without this ability
usually
will have a lack of contribution to their nation.
For instance
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
for a long time and do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
about Indonesian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
will tend to never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back to build Indonesia,
even though
Indonesian society needs their contribution.

In conclusion
, based on reasons mentioned above,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
is needed
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to build their nationality and motivate them to contribute to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Learning
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
is the
first
step to building a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
61Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay To some people studying the past has little value in the modern world. Why do you think it is important to learn the past? What will be the effect if children are not taught history? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
403 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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