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To solve the ever-increasing environmental hazards throughout the world, the best way is to increase the price of fuel. What is your opinion on the above assumption? v.8

To solve the ever-increasing environmental hazards throughout the world, the best way is to increase the price of fuel. What is your opinion on the above assumption? v. 8
NASA an ESA (European Space Agency) announced that 2016 and 2017 are going to be the warmest years in mankind history due to increased amount of emission into the atmosphere which, in turn has triggered many environmental and social issues worldwide. The latter has suggested increasing the price of fuel in order to reduce the number of vehicles in streets. Though it would be much better if the manufacturers involved such advanced technologies as electric motors and alternative sources of energy. Rising the fuel price can dissuade people to drive as it would not be affordable to have vehicles, which is likely to diminish the amount of carbon dioxide in the air. The solution, nevertheless, might stagnate other industries which rely on fuel, which in turn prompts economic problems on top of environmental ones. Tourism, for instance, is a niche of many countries. In order to supply incessantly the countries with tourists, air companies have to have an affordable source of fuel. Thus, a high price for fuel could be a solution for environmental hazards; however, it also can be a cause of an economic disaster for many countries. Future lies on new technologies. As increased number of vehicles are the main contaminants of the atmosphere due to the fact that they emit carbon dioxide to the air. Combustion engines can be substituted with electric ones, which are significantly more environment-friendly than the conventional ones. Moreover, if car manufacturers find electric-motor cars very expensive to produce massively, alternative sources of fuel might be a solution since combustion engines can be run by biofuel, one of the alternative sources of energy. It is empirical that increased environmental hazards are solved by all means. As a result it has been suggested increasing the price of fuel; nevertheless, this solution seems to cause the other issues besides environmental ones. Thus, the other possible solutions should be considered.
NASA an ESA (European Space Agency) announced that 2016 and 2017 are going to be the warmest years in mankind history due to increased amount of emission into the atmosphere which, in turn has triggered
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
and social issues worldwide. The latter has suggested increasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the number of vehicles in streets. Though it would be much better if the manufacturers involved such advanced technologies as electric motors and alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
of energy.

Rising the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
can dissuade
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to drive as it would not be affordable to have vehicles, which is likely to diminish the amount of carbon dioxide in the air. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
,
nevertheless
, might stagnate other industries which rely on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
, which in turn prompts economic problems on top of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
. Tourism,
for instance
, is a niche of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries. In order to supply
incessantly
the countries with tourists, air
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
have an affordable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
.
Thus
, a high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
could be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
hazards;
however
, it
also
can be a cause of an economic disaster for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries.

Future lies on new technologies.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
increased number of vehicles are the main contaminants of the atmosphere due to the fact that they emit carbon dioxide to the air. Combustion engines can
be substituted
with electric
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
, which are
significantly
more environment-friendly than the conventional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
.
Moreover
, if car manufacturers find electric-motor cars
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
expensive to produce
massively
, alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
might be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
since combustion engines can
be run
by biofuel, one of the alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
of energy.

It is empirical that increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
hazards
are solved
by all means.
As a result
it has
been suggested
increasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
;
nevertheless
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
seems to cause the other issues
besides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
.
Thus
, the other possible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
should
be considered
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay To solve the ever-increasing environmental hazards throughout the world, the best way is to increase the price of fuel. What is your opinion on the above assumption? v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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