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To improve the quality of education, university should spend more money on salaries for university professors. v.2

To improve the quality of education, university should spend more money on salaries for university professors. v. 2
We are living in a new world developing in leaps and bounds. And education is among the things to which people have paid most attention in hope of improving it. Some people propose that universities should increase the salaries of professor to improve the quality of education. Personally speaking, I agree with this idea and I will elaborate my reasons in this essay. First of all, spending more money on salaries for professors can seemingly attract more scholars to teach in the universities. Many learned scientists or scholars don' t choose being a professor of university as their career because of the relatively low salaries the school departments offer. And it will be a great boost in the quality of the education of the university if the departments can attract them to teach in the universities. And increasing the salaries is the most promising solution. When there are more qualified professors teaching, better education is expected. For example. In my university many students will eagerly attend the speech given by some famous scholars from other universities or organizations. Last time a famous Chinese poet who visited our university caused craze of competing for seats of the speech. People started to line up in the morning even though the speech was planed to start in afternoon. If my university could offer salaries high enough to hire professors like this one, not only does the quality of education increased but also the students' motivation. Secondly, higher salaries can encourage professors to work harder. If universities choose to increase the salaries of the professors that have won students interests and gotten high reputation for presenting good class, this policy can encourages professors to work harder because they are rewarded for their efforts. Such strategy is common in the companies that expect better performance from employees, and it should also work fine in the education system of university, since both of them are similar to each other. In a nut shell, because spending more money on salaries can attract more well learned scholars and encourages professors to work harder, it can improve the quality of education.
We are living in a new world developing in leaps and bounds. And
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is among the things to which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have paid most attention in hope of improving it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
propose that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
should increase the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professor
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
Personally
speaking, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
and I will elaborate my reasons in this essay.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, spending more money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professors
can
seemingly
attract more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scholars
to teach in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
learned scientists or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scholars
Possible spelling mistake found.
don&
#039; t choose
If 'choose' is used as a verb, it usually requires the infinitive: "to be".
being
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professor
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
as their career
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
relatively
low
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
the school departments offer. And it will be a great boost in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
if the departments can attract them to teach in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
. And increasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
is the most promising solution. When there are more qualified
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professors
teaching, better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
.
For example
. In my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
students will
eagerly
attend the speech
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scholars
from other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
or organizations. Last time a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
Chinese poet who visited our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
caused craze of competing for seats of the speech.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to line up in the morning
even though
the speech
was planed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
in afternoon. If my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
could offer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
high
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to hire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professors
like this one, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
does the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
increased
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
students&
#039; motivation.

Secondly
, higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
can encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professors
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
harder. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
choose to increase the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professors
that have won students interests and gotten high reputation for presenting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
, this policy can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "encourage"
encourages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professors
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
harder
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
are rewarded
for their efforts. Such strategy is common in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
better performance from employees, and it should
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
fine in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
, since both of them are similar to each other.

In a nut shell,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
spending more money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
can attract more well learned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scholars
and encourages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professors
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
harder, it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
47Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay To improve the quality of education, university should spend more money on salaries for university professors. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
352 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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