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To conclude, many people are not getting the right amount of rest their body needs because they need to make a living and want to start their day early. As a result, not only their health is affected but also their relationships. v. 1

While in the past, people used to get many hours of night's rest, nowadays, it is not the case. This essay will discuss the reasons for this trend and explain the impact it has on individuals and those around them. One main factor causing people to sleep less at night is family obligations. Sole earners are responsible for the needs of their immediate and extended families, so they do more than one job, which may involve working until late at night. In developing countries, for example, it is a common trend for people to operate taxi services after their usual office work so as to generate additional income. Another factor is traffic. Many cities suffer vehicle gridlock especially in the mornings when everyone is in a hurry, so most people wake up and leave their house before dawn in order to avoid getting stuck in traffic. The effects of sleep deprivation can be extremely harmful. Firstly, it could lead to ill health. The human body needs at least seven to ten hours of sleep in order for the brain to function efficiently. If this is lacking, people might suffer from mental health problems. For example, a recent study revealed that people who stay up late are prone to memory loss. Secondly, it affects daily interaction. When people are stressed out as a result of insufficient rest, they find it challenging to create time for fun with family members or friends. Thus, their life becomes monotonous. To conclude, many people are not getting the right amount of rest their body needs because they need to make a living and want to start their day early. As a result, not only their health is affected but also their relationships.

IELTS essay To conclude, many people are not getting the right amount of rest their body needs because they need to make a living and want to start their day early. As a result, not only their health is affected but also their relationships. v.1

While in the past,
people
used
to
get
many
hours of night's rest, nowadays, it is not the case. This essay will discuss the reasons for this trend and
explain
the impact it has on individuals and those around them.

One main factor causing
people
to sleep less at night is family obligations. Sole earners are responsible for the
needs
of their immediate and extended families,
so
they do more than one job, which may involve working until late at night. In
developing countries
,
for example
, it is a common trend for
people
to operate taxi services after their usual office work
so as to
generate additional income. Another factor is traffic.
Many
cities suffer vehicle gridlock
especially
in the mornings when everyone is in a hurry,
so
most
people
wake up and
leave
their
house
before
dawn in order to avoid getting stuck in traffic.

The effects of sleep deprivation can be
extremely
harmful.
Firstly
, it could lead to ill health. The human body
needs
at least seven to ten hours of sleep in order for the brain to function
efficiently
. If this is lacking,
people
might suffer from mental health problems.
For example
, a recent study revealed that
people
who stay up late are prone to memory loss.
Secondly
, it affects daily interaction. When
people
are
stressed
out
as a result
of insufficient rest, they find it challenging
to create
time for fun with family members or friends.
Thus
, their life becomes monotonous.

To conclude
,
many
people
are not getting the right amount of rest their body
needs
because
they
need
to
make
a living and want to
start
their day early.
As a result
, not
only
their health is
affected
but
also
their relationships.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
The man who does not know other languages, unless he is a man of genius, necessarily has deficiencies in his ideas.
Victor Hugo
Essay
4 paragraphs
287 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resources: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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