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Throughout history, people have dreamed of living in a perfect society, but they have not agreed on what an ideal society would be like. What do you think is the most important element of a perfect society in the modern world? How can people work towards achieving an ideal society?

Throughout history, people have dreamed of living in a perfect society, but they have not agreed on what an ideal society would be like. What do you think is the most important element of a perfect society in the modern world? How can people work towards achieving an ideal society? v. 4
There are several elements we have to apply for built a dream society. Plenty of elements we need to improve like as, infrastructure, employment rate and influence for tax payment. In this essay, I will discuss all the elements for suitable questions. To start with, history gives us efficacious sample of infrastructure. People as well as government needs to obey it. Moreover, for making a great society where everyone can take pleasure from their life, we have to work on basic infrastructure. For example, we have to construct hospitals, schools, colleges, roads and many other human-welfare organization basis of requirment. Goverment has to look around this necessity and then, try to built a dream society for their citizens. Apart from, in my perspective employment is important element to draw a perfect society. Everyone needs enough money to manage their expenditure. Also without enough employment with each field, it is impossible to make perfect society. Thus, government has to introduce new jobs for their citizens as requirements. Lastly, co-ordination of citizens has huge part into society to make ideal. Every citizen has to aware about their responsibility. Tax payment is one of the major liability for an individual. Goverment needs a healthy budget to fulfill their citizens need and without tax they are lacking at some point. For example, in Japan 97% Citizens pay their taxes on regularly bases, so everyone feels comfort in their lifestyle. To end with, I strongly believe that argumented elements have huge impect to built a wealthy society. Both, government and individual have to work together to built it.
There are several
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elements
we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
apply for built a dream
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society
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elements
we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
like as, infrastructure, employment rate and influence for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
payment. In this essay, I will discuss all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elements
for suitable questions.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, history gives us efficacious sample of infrastructure.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to obey it.
Moreover
, for making a great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
where everyone can take pleasure from their life, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work on basic infrastructure.
For example
, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
construct hospitals, schools, colleges, roads and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other human-welfare organization basis of
Possible spelling mistake found.
requirment
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Goverment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
look around this necessity and then, try
Did you mean "to build"?
to built
a dream
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
for their citizens.

Apart from, in my perspective employment is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
element
to draw a perfect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. Everyone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money to manage their expenditure.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
without
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
employment with each field, it is impossible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
perfect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
Thus
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
introduce new jobs for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
as requirements.

Lastly
, co-ordination of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
has huge part into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
ideal. Every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
aware about their responsibility.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Tax
payment is one of the major liability for an individual.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Goverment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
a healthy budget to fulfill their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
and without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
they are lacking at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
point.
For example
, in Japan 97%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Citizens
pay their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
on
regularly
bases,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
everyone feels comfort in their lifestyle.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
with, I
strongly
believe that
Possible spelling mistake found.
argumented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elements
have huge
Possible spelling mistake found.
impect
Did you mean "to build"?
to built
a wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. Both,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and individual
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work together to built it.
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The man who does not know other languages, unless he is a man of genius, necessarily has deficiencies in his ideas.
Victor Hugo

IELTS essay Throughout history, people have dreamed of living in a perfect society, but they have not agreed on what an ideal society would be like. What do you think is the most important element of a perfect society in the modern world? How can people work towards achieving an ideal society?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
263 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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