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Some people believe that confidence wins bigger games that knowledge alone cannot. Also, that accumulating knowledge makes no sense until one has the confidence to put it to use. v.1

Some people believe that confidence wins bigger games that knowledge alone cannot. Also, that accumulating knowledge makes no sense until one has the confidence to put it to use. v. 1
This age of technology and development is considered as an information age. Nowadays the one who has the information is considered to be powerful. Here, information means the knowledge. Knowledge industry is at the boom. Some argue that confidence is crucial to represent the knowledge you have, otherwise it will be useless. In following paragraphs, I will contemplate on this statement and would conclude my belief. To start with the confidence, it is essential in every aspect of our life. With confidence only, an individual can win any race. For instance, in interviews, questions are asked which are totally irrelevant to the subject to just check the confidence. In addition to this, it is required for a person to be confident while representing any truth otherwise listener might not trust. For example, while presenting a new product of the company, if a representative feels nervous, the customer might think something wrong about the item. On the other hand, sometimes, people bluff the biggest lies in over confidence which make them looser. Take an example of a doctor who promises to cure a cancer at the last stage in a day with confidence. None will trust them whatever amount of intelligence he has. Moreover, knowledge is the prime factor for success as without it, getting a job and keeping pace with the advanced technology is impossible. For instance, if an individual does not know how to operate a computer, he can not survive in this contemporary world. To conclude, although I do feel that confidence is the require to present the knowledge, knowledge is the more important.
This age of technology and development
is considered
as an information age. Nowadays the one who has the information
is considered
to be powerful. Here, information means the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Knowledge
industry is at the boom.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
confidence
is crucial to represent the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
you have,
otherwise
it will be useless. In following paragraphs, I will contemplate on this statement and would conclude my belief.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
confidence
, it is essential in every aspect of our life. With
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
confidence
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
, an individual can win any race.
For instance
, in interviews, questions
are asked
which are
totally
irrelevant to the subject to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
confidence
.
In addition
to this, it
is required
for a person to be confident while representing any truth
otherwise
listener might not trust.
For example
, while presenting a new product of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, if a representative feels nervous, the customer might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
something
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
about the item.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
bluff the biggest lies in over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
confidence
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them looser. Take an example of a doctor who promises to cure a cancer at the last stage in a day with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
confidence
. None will trust them whatever amount of intelligence he has.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
is the prime factor for success as without it, getting a job and keeping pace with the advanced technology is impossible.
For instance
, if an individual does not know how to operate a computer, he can not survive in this contemporary world.

To conclude
, although I do feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
confidence
is the
The word 'require' is not a noun. Did you mean "requirement"?
require
to present the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
is the more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that confidence wins bigger games that knowledge alone cannot. Also, that accumulating knowledge makes no sense until one has the confidence to put it to use. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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