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Throughout history, male leaders have lead us into violence and conflict. If a society is governed by female leaders it will be more peaceful. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.2

Throughout history, male leaders have lead us into violence and conflict. If a society is governed by female leaders it will be more peaceful. with this opinion? v. 2
Humankind has had thousands of wars which have led to lots of death. Some people believe by giving governments to women the rate of conflicts will decrease. I do not believe in this point of view and think, virtually there is no difference between female and male leaders when it comes to politics. Some individuals think women are better leaders than men. This group claims that the number of men who are in charge of society's leadership is much more than women and that is why we have witnessed lots of wars and violence today. According to this view, female's temperament and personality might help us to make the perfect world by decreasing crimes and violence. Moreover, we can see a superb performance of those governments having women's leadership Germany, for instance, leading by Angela Merckel is a shining example of modern society. And also, in recent disease COVID 19, four of the five countries that have had superb performance have been led by women. On the other hand, our globe has witnessed some conflicts that ladies were triggered and launched. A war between two nuclear power India and Pakistan happened three decades ago, surprisingly, they both were led and governed by women. It sounds that weather governing by females or not change anything the power can easily ruin and skew people's preferences and attitudes. The authorities can easily corrupt by their authorities and the sole approach that can avoid this issue is electing an appropriate and accountable individual for being on top of governments. If all societies democratically elect their leaders, the rate of violence, crime, and war will deplete. To conclude, I reaffirm my position that governing by ladies does not mean lessen war and conflicts.
Humankind has had thousands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wars
which have led to lots of death.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe by giving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
the rate of conflicts will decrease. I do not believe in this point of view and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
,
virtually
there is no difference between female and male leaders when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to politics.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are better leaders than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
. This group claims that the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
who are in charge of society's leadership is much more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
and
that is
why we have witnessed lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wars
and violence
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. According to this view, female's temperament and personality might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the perfect world by decreasing crimes and violence.
Moreover
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a superb performance of those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
having women's leadership Germany,
for instance
, leading by Angela
Possible spelling mistake found.
Merckel
is a shining example of modern society. And
also
, in recent disease
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
COVID 19
, four of the five countries that have had superb performance have
been led
by women.

On the other hand
, our globe has witnessed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
conflicts that ladies
were triggered
and launched. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
war
between two nuclear power India and Pakistan happened three decades ago,
surprisingly
, they both
were led
and governed by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
. It sounds that weather governing by females or not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
anything the power can
easily
ruin and skew
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's preferences and attitudes. The authorities can
easily
corrupt by their authorities and the sole approach that can avoid this issue is electing an appropriate and accountable individual for being on top of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
. If all societies
democratically
elect their leaders, the rate of violence, crime, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
war
will deplete.

To conclude
, I reaffirm my position that governing by ladies does not mean lessen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
war
and conflicts.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Throughout history, male leaders have lead us into violence and conflict. If a society is governed by female leaders it will be more peaceful. with this opinion? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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