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29. Think about a helpful classmate. Give three reasons to explain what features make this person so helpful. v.1

29. Think about a helpful classmate. Give three reasons to explain what features make this person so helpful. v. 1
In current society, education has played a vital role in people's lives and has brought about enormous imminent benefits for children's lives. A majority of individuals are of the opinion that the authorities in charge of schooling will have a more significant impact on children's thoughts than parents. I profoundly disagree with this notion that teachers can have a tremendous effect on the offspring's mindsets. A massive number of crucial life lessons, first of all, are given to children by prospective parents. In fact, this is through parent training that a considerable quantity of useful information, such as cultural values, life skills, and social interaction are taught to children, which could enjoy a long –term effect on children's lives. Besides, not only can these educations be practical for children's lives, but also it can have a tremendous impact on children's upbringings. In addition, it is believed by some psychologists that since a large number of students spending a massive amount of their time in their homes, they are more likely to be obedient from their parents than teachers. Moreover, due to the rigid personality traits of teachers, a wide variety of children tend to be learned from their parents rather than teachers. A survey conducted by MIT university revealed that parental training courses have always been alluring to children; moreover, they should be taken into account as an important lesson for children's nurturing. Finally, it is universally accepted that children are taught by their tutors in terms of formal education. Therefore, parents have a decisive impact on children's minds. Admittedly, parents are more interested in teaching social skills, and they can shape children's treatment in many aspects. In conclusion, education, as a kind of human rights, has always been a controversial issue for human beings. A large number of people hold the view that teachers have a more substantial impact on the flourishing of kids. It is essential that children's moral traits be formed by the parents than teachers.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
society,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
has played a vital role in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
and has brought about enormous imminent benefits for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
. A majority of individuals are of the opinion that the authorities in charge of schooling will have a more significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children's
thoughts than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. I
profoundly
disagree with this notion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
can have a tremendous effect on the offspring's mindsets.

A massive number of crucial life lessons,
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
first of all
, are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
by prospective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. In fact, this is through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
training that a considerable quantity of useful information, such as cultural values, life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, and social interaction
are taught
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, which could enjoy a long –term effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
.
Besides
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educations
be practical for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it can have a tremendous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children's
upbringings.

In addition
, it
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
psychologists that since
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
students spending a massive amount of their time in their homes, they are more likely to be obedient from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
.
Moreover
, due to the rigid personality traits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
, a wide variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
tend to
be learned
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
. A survey conducted by MIT university revealed that parental training courses have always been alluring to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
;
moreover
, they should
be taken
into account as an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
lesson for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children's
nurturing.

Finally
, it is
universally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are taught
by their tutors in terms of formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have a decisive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children's
minds.
Admittedly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are more interested in teaching social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, and they can shape
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children's
treatment in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, as a kind of human rights, has always been a controversial issue for human beings.
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
A large number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
hold the view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
have a more substantial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
on the flourishing of kids. It is essential that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children's
moral traits
be formed
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay 29. Think about a helpful classmate. Give three reasons to explain what features make this person so helpful. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
329 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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