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These days the school introduces behavior of what is right or wrong The responsibility is not only parents To what extent do you agree or disagree v.1

These days the school introduces behavior of what is right or wrong The responsibility is not only parents v. 1
A convincing argument and with my point of view can be made that not only the proper upbringing from parents but also the decent education at schools can have profound influences on the complete development of every child. First and foremost, it should be claimed that parents play a particularly vital role in educating juveniles. It is the fact that most children always think that their parents are perfect creatures and doing-no-wrong characters, consequently, from an early age they have a tendency to imitate their parents' behaviors. Although parents can make some mistakes, what parents do through how they teach their' s children will affect every aspect of children' s life - from school to relationships with others. This raises the question that parents should always be exemplary pattern both in virtue and behavior if they want to have good children. However, aside from being brought up properly from family, a well-rounded education at school is a key factor to help children mature both physically and intellectually. Civic education subject at school will provide children with a comprehensive view and plays an important role in helping form the moral foundation, and critical thinking. Moreover, different from the ambience of home life, it can be said that school is not only a place to teach knowledge to children but also a simulating society providing children with plenty of real opportunities to learn communication with people around them. Additionally, school educators are professional experts in the field of education, who have great experience in imparting children the necessary knowledge and luggage into life. In conclusion, I agree a close cooperation between schools and parents in providing children with comprehensive education will play an extremely important role that needs to be performed seriously and closely.
A convincing argument and with my point of view can
be made
that not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the proper upbringing from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the decent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
can have profound influences on the complete development of every child.

First
and foremost, it should
be claimed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
play a
particularly
vital role in educating juveniles. It is the fact that most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are perfect creatures and doing-no-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
characters,
consequently
, from an early age they have a tendency to imitate their
Possible spelling mistake found.
parents&
#039; behaviors. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
mistakes, what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
do through how they teach
Possible spelling mistake found.
their&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will affect every aspect of
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s life
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
to relationships with others. This raises the question that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should always be exemplary pattern both in virtue and behavior if they want to have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
children.

However
, aside from
being brought
up
properly
from family, a well-rounded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is a key factor to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
mature both
physically
and
intellectually
. Civic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
subject at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
will provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with a comprehensive view and plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in helping form the moral foundation, and critical thinking.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from the ambience of home life, it can
be said
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a place to teach knowledge to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
a simulating society providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of real opportunities to learn communication with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around them.
Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
educators are professional experts in the field of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, who have great experience in imparting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
the necessary knowledge and luggage into life.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
a close cooperation between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with comprehensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
will play an
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role that needs to
be performed
seriously
and
closely
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS essay These days the school introduces behavior of what is right or wrong The responsibility is not only parents v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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