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Some people argue that it is important to have an enjoyable job than to earn a lot of money Others disagree and think that a good salary leads to a happy life Discuss both views and give your own opinion v.2

Some people argue that it is important to have an enjoyable job than to earn a lot of money Others disagree and think that a good salary leads to a happy life 2
The convincing argument as well as in my opinion can be made that a job not only is interesting and suitable but also have a position in society with an attractive salary can have significant influences on the physical and mental lives of every people. First and foremost, it should be claimed that an interesting or appropriate job not only helps people to express their passion, ability, and personality in the best way but also helps them to be brave enough to overcome difficulties and failures. And the success of so many individuals and businesses stems from their pursuit of personal interests and passion. The reason for this is that, when a person enjoys his work, he doesn' t seem to be burdened when doing that and more or less he considers it a hobby. In the present scenario, the more difficult the careers have, the more stress people will be, a job in choice of liking could avoid many diseases arising out of pressure at work. Additionally, a love for work escalates career growth and can turn people into experts in their field. There are some great examples such as steve jobs, bill gates, and so on. However, every human being in this modern society needs a certain amount of money to maintain the essential needs of themselves and their families. With the money earned, someone will be satisfied and contented with a full-life materialistically and mentally, but there will also be people who are upset by a life of deprivation. The pressure of " Bread and butter" is increasing every day, leading many people to believe that having money is happiness, and many people can confidently say that their passion is money. Therefore, economic prosperity is a key factor to allow people to lead a fulfilling life materialistically and mentally. A desirable high salary can not only respond to the basic needs of themselves and their loving families but also be able to gain expensive luxuries and luxurious lifestyles. Those are important motivations that make people worship high wages. In conclusion, it is hard to find a job not only interesting but also strong earnings, so that in my opinion, a job with a good salary will be the first criterion when I apply for a job.
The convincing argument
as well
as in my opinion can
be made
that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
is interesting and suitable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
have a position in society with an attractive salary can have significant influences on the physical and mental
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

First
and foremost, it should
be claimed
that an interesting or appropriate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to express their passion, ability, and personality in the best way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to be brave
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to overcome difficulties and failures. And the success of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals and businesses stems from their pursuit of personal interests and passion.
The reason for this is
that, when a person enjoys his work, he
Possible spelling mistake found.
doesn&
#039; t seem to
be burdened
when doing that and more or less he considers it a hobby. In the present scenario, the more difficult the careers have, the more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will be, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in choice of liking could avoid
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
diseases arising out of pressure at work.
Additionally
, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
for work escalates career growth and can turn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
into experts in their field. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
great examples such as steve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
,
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
bill gates
, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.

However
, every human being in this modern society needs a certain amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to maintain the essential needs of themselves and their families. With the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
earned, someone will
be satisfied
and contented with a full-life
materialistically
and mentally,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there will
also
be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
are upset
by a life of deprivation. The pressure of
Possible spelling mistake found.
&quot
; Bread and
Possible spelling mistake found.
butter&quot
; is increasing every day, leading
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to believe that having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is happiness, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
confidently
say that their passion is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
Therefore
, economic prosperity is a key factor to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to lead a fulfilling life
materialistically
and mentally. A desirable high salary can not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
respond to the basic needs of themselves and their loving families
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
be able to gain expensive luxuries and luxurious lifestyles. Those are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
motivations that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
worship high wages.

In conclusion
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to find a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
interesting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
strong earnings,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that in my opinion, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
with a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
salary will be the
first
criterion when I apply for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
18Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people argue that it is important to have an enjoyable job than to earn a lot of money Others disagree and think that a good salary leads to a happy life 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
379 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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