Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people say that schools should teach good behavior to children and introduce them to right and wrong. Parents should not only be the ones responsible. To what extent do you agree or disagree. v.2

Some people say that schools should teach good behavior to children and introduce them to right and wrong. Parents should not only be the ones responsible. v. 2
It is often argued by some people that school should take the equal onus as parents in inculcating good habits in the children and educating them what is right or wrong for them. In my opinion, I agree with the statement that it becomes the primary duty of teachers to teach good habits and behaviour to the children. Most children start going to school as soon as they turn three. The school is considered to be the second home for them as they spend a great amount of time in schools with their peers and teachers. Thus, teachers should take the initiative of teaching them social values. For example, these days school organize many group activities to teach students about teamwork and cooperation. Apart from this, schools recognize the strengths and weakness of the children and based on that, teachers direct them to the right path for their holistic development. Hence, due to all these reasons, it becomes the duty of school to teach good habits and aware them about what is right or wrong for them. Parents are also responsible for teaching good values to their children. However, due to the over demanding jobs they barely get time to monitor the every activity of their kid. When children are at school, the teachers are the primary guardians and it becomes the duty of the teachers to teach them what is good and what is bad. Furthermore, the home atmosphere also impacts the child behaviour. For instance, children observe certain acts of their family members such as talking in loud noise, hiding the truth and a lot more. Consequently, they grab all these things. Therefore, behavioural studies should be taken care by teachers. In conclusion, I assert that it becomes the moral duty of the schools to guide the children on the right path because they spend the good amount of time under the care and supervision of their teachers.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
should take the equal onus as parents in inculcating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
habits in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and educating them what is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
for them. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement that it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
becomes
the primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
duty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
habits and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
to the children.

Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as they turn three. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is considered
to be the second home for them as they spend a great amount of time in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
with their peers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
should take the initiative of teaching them social values.
For example
, these days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
organize
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
group activities to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
students about teamwork and cooperation. Apart from this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
recognize the strengths and weakness of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and based on that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
direct them to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
path for their holistic development.
Hence
, due to all these reasons, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
becomes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
duty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
habits and aware them about what is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
for them.

Parents are
also
responsible for teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
values to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
However
, due to the over demanding jobs they
barely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
time to monitor the every activity of their kid. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
are the primary guardians and it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
becomes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
duty
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
them what is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
and what is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
.
Furthermore
, the home atmosphere
also
impacts the child
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
observe certain acts of their family members such as talking in loud noise, hiding the truth and a lot more.
Consequently
, they grab all these things.
Therefore
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'behavioural' is British English.
behavioural
studies should
be taken
care by teachers.

In conclusion
, I assert that it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
becomes
the moral
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
duty
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
to guide the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
path
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they spend the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
amount of time under the care and supervision of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay Some people say that schools should teach good behavior to children and introduce them to right and wrong. Parents should not only be the ones responsible. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
320 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts