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These days, people work more than one job, and often change career several times during their life. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this? v.2

These days, people work more than one job, and often change career several times during their life. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this? v. 2
In recent years, the number of people taking up various occupation during their lifetime has been on the upward trend. Although this trend is currently encouraged by positive judgements thanks to its benefits towards workers, its drawbacks should be taken into account. On the one hand, changing fields of work provides the employees with thorough insights into their potentials. By researching strengths and weaknesses via different working areas, each person can make their own decisions in their career path. In reality, many CEOs around the world took up many sorts of work such as tour guides, waiters, and secretaries before starting their own business. It can be explained that the process of changing careers build human comprehensive skill sets, which later helps them to navigate and develop themselves. Otherwise, many people seem to stick to a sedentary jobs for the whole life without passion and efforts. On the other hand, changing career is not without downsides since it charges workers the opportunity costs to achieve their goals. First, achievement is traded off by time and efforts, This means that when switching work, people lose time and promotion for their current positions. Second, starting something from scratch like changing working fields often goes along with risks. In reality, challenges coming from failure and rejection often act as a deterrent for people to make decision on occupation changing. In conclusion, despite the opportunity costs including risks that switching career paths may bring, the precious skillsets and insights gained through this process appear to be meaningful in human life achievement. By acknowledging this feature, taking up many occupation should be voted as a positive breakthrough in human life.
In recent years, the number of
people
taking up various occupation during their lifetime has been on the upward trend. Although this trend is
currently
encouraged by
positive
judgements thanks to its benefits towards workers, its drawbacks should
be taken
into account.

On the one hand,
changing
fields of work provides the employees with thorough insights into their potentials. By researching strengths and weaknesses via
different
working areas, each person can
make
their
own
decisions in their
career
path. In reality,
many
CEOs around the world took up
many
sorts of work such as tour guides, waiters, and secretaries
before
starting their
own
business. It can be
explained
that the process of
changing
careers
build human comprehensive
skill
sets, which later
helps
them to navigate and develop themselves.
Otherwise
,
many
people
seem to stick to a sedentary
jobs
for the whole life without passion and efforts.

On the other hand
,
changing
career
is not without downsides since it charges workers the opportunity costs to achieve their goals.
First
, achievement
is traded
off by time and efforts, This means that when switching work,
people
lose time and promotion for their
current
positions. Second, starting something from scratch like
changing
working fields
often
goes along with
risks
. In reality, challenges coming from failure and rejection
often
act as a deterrent for
people
to
make
decision on occupation changing.

In conclusion
, despite the opportunity costs including
risks
that switching
career
paths may bring, the precious
skillsets
and insights gained through this process appear to be meaningful in human life achievement. By acknowledging this feature, taking up
many occupation
should
be voted
as a
positive
breakthrough in human life.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay These days, people work more than one job, and often change career several times during their life. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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