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Do agree or disagree? educating children is a more difficult task today than it was in the past because they spend time on technology? v.5

Do agree or disagree? educating children is a more difficult task today than it was in the past because they spend time on technology? v. 5
Education plays a pivotal role to build communities. It broadens our opportunities to land a good job and it determines the success of a person. In fact, education is required for all peeple including children who like to learn. It is a highly debated issue whether or not educating children is a more difficult task today than it was in the past, and this topic can approached from several angles due to its complexity. Deeply deliberating over the issue, I believe that educating children is an easy task than it was in the past and following discussion reveals my stand and reasoning. First, by using the internet, children can get information easily. Through the internet, children can learn more because there are a lot of information that is easy to find. Actually, in the past it was difficult for children to get information in a short period because they should collect information from library which is hard to find a good peice of information. Take myself as an example, when I was in elementary school, our teacher asked us to do research about dinosaur extinction and he gave us just three days to finish it. At first, I struggled to collect all this information in a short period since I had to search in the library among a lot of shelves and I spent time to find a book that is related to my topic. Finally, I found just one but it was not enough and I got a lower score because of that. However, nowadays, students can access to the internet any time and they can find a lot of information from home which is more convenient for them. This experience taught me that the internet makes eduacation for children is more easy and more convenient. Second, through technology in the schools, children will be motivated to study hard since technology makes the education easy for them. In order for children to expand their knowledge, they should be motivated to concentrate on their education. For instance, devices in the schools such as computers, television, calculators, and even electonic books motivate children to focus to their studying and they will be excited to attend their schools and this in turn create a good chance for them to understand easily and in a good way. On the other hand, In the past, children were not motivated to go to schools because there was just traditional books and they were bored because there were nothing interesting so they were not able to focus on their education. Frankly, before teachers had hard time to drag childrens attention so they were struggling a lot which made the education more difficult to them. As we can clearly see, children in current days are excited to go to school and to focus on their education as a result the education is much easier than before. By the way of conclusion, based on the arguments explored above, I firmly concur that educating children is much easier task today that it was in the past because they are motivated. Education is a very important part in their lives since it is worthwhile and specious.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
plays a pivotal role to build communities. It broadens our opportunities to land a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
job and it determines the success of a person. In fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is required
for all
Possible spelling mistake found.
peeple
including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who like to learn. It is a
highly
debated issue
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether". It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
whether or not
educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is a more difficult task
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
than it was in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
, and this topic can approached from several angles due to its complexity.
Deeply
deliberating over the issue, I believe that educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easy
task than it was in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
and following discussion reveals my stand and reasoning.

First
, by using the internet,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
easily
. Through the internet,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can learn more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
that is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easy
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
. Actually, in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
it was difficult for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
in a short period
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they should collect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
from library which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
Possible spelling mistake found.
peice
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
. Take myself as an example, when I was in elementary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, our teacher asked us to do research about dinosaur
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
extinction and
he gave us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
three days to finish it. At
first
, I struggled to collect all this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
in a short period since I had to search in the library among a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of shelves and I spent time to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
a book that
is related
to my topic.
Finally
, I found
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it was not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a lower score
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of that.
However
, nowadays, students can access to the internet any
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
time and
they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
from home which is more convenient for them. This experience taught me that the internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
Possible spelling mistake found.
eduacation
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easy
and more convenient.

Second, through technology in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
motivated
to study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
since technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easy
for them. In order for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to expand their knowledge, they should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
motivated
to concentrate on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
For instance
, devices in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
such as computers, television, calculators, and even
Possible spelling mistake found.
electonic
books motivate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to focus to their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
studying and
they will
be excited
to attend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and this in turn create a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
chance for them to understand
easily
and in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
way.
On the other hand
, In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
were not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
motivated
to go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
traditional
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
books and
they
were bored
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there were nothing interesting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they were not able to focus on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
Frankly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
teachers had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
time to drag
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens
attention
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they were struggling a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
which made the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
more
The usual preposition to follow "difficult" is 'for" when followed by a pronoun. "Difficult" and "to" only appear together when "to" forms part of an infinitive structure. Did you mean "difficult for them"?
difficult to them
. As we can
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
days
are excited
to go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and to focus on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
as a result
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is much easier than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.

By the way of conclusion, based on the arguments explored above, I
firmly
concur that educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is much easier task
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
that it was in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
motivated
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
since it is worthwhile and specious.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
60Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Mistakes

IELTS essay Do agree or disagree? educating children is a more difficult task today than it was in the past because they spend time on technology? v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
526 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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