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These days, mobile phones and the internet are very important to the ways in which people relate to one another socially. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? v.11

These days, mobile phones and the internet are very important to the ways in which people relate to one another socially. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? v. 11
In present mobile phones and internet are the need of every Single person but their are many advantage or disadvantage of these things in these days. In begin with the help of mobile phones and internet, people can talk to each in any time and anywhere. For example they call to their relatives any time does not matter how far they long live from each other. With the help of internet people doing their work at home. After that there are so many advantage and disadvantage of mobile phones and internet with the help of mobile phones and internet people can do their work or communicate at home and anwhere. Students can do their school work with the help of internet. House wife can pay their bill and do Shopping at home with the help of Internet. Their are so many disadvantages of mobile phones and Internet like the people are So busy in mobile Phone it can cause of accident For example people use their mobile phones while driving it is major cause of accident at road. Human used internet all day and all night. This things are affected on human eye and brain thats by Person 60% person are used spect. On other had children use internet or mobile phone and they do not do their school work. The rays of mobile phones and Internet which are recieved by these are very harmfull for birds or humans, because these are pass though their bodyies and causes of many deceases. To increase the speed of internet nasa use satelite and these satalite are perduced pollution in Atmosphere.
In present mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
and internet are the need of every Single person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Did you mean "there"?
their
are
Possible agreement error. The noun advantage seems to be countable; consider using: "many advantages".
many advantage
or disadvantage of these things in these days.

In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
and internet,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can talk to each in any time and anywhere. For
The comma is probably missing here: "example, they".
example they
call to their relatives any time does not matter how far they long
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
from each other. With the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
doing their work at home.

After that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
Possible agreement error. The noun advantage seems to be countable; consider using: "many advantages".
many advantage
and disadvantage of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
and internet with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
and internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can do their work or communicate at home and
Possible spelling mistake found.
anwhere
. Students can do their school work with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of internet.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
House
wife can pay their bill and
The usual collocation for an activity ending in "-ing" is "go" not "do" or "play." Revise: "go Shopping".
do Shopping
at home with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of Internet.

Did you mean "there"?
Their
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
disadvantages of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
and Internet like the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
busy in mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Phone
it can cause of accident
For example
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
while driving it is major cause of accident at road. Human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
internet all day and all night.
Did you mean "these"?
This
things are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
on human eye and brain
Possible spelling mistake found
thats
by Person 60% person are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
Possible spelling mistake found.
spect
. On other had children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
internet or mobile
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
phone and
they do not do their school work.

The rays of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
and Internet which are
Possible spelling mistake found.
recieved
by these are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Possible spelling mistake found.
harmfull
for birds or humans,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these are pass though their
Possible spelling mistake found.
bodyies
and causes of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
deceases. To increase the speed of internet
Possible spelling mistake found.
nasa
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
Possible spelling mistake found.
satelite
and these
Possible spelling mistake found.
satalite
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
perduced
pollution in Atmosphere.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Mistakes
You live a new life for every new language you speak. If you know only one language, you live only once.
Czech Proverb

IELTS essay These days, mobile phones and the internet are very important to the ways in which people relate to one another socially. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? v. 11

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
268 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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