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Question: Briefly summarize the problem the speakers are discussing. Then state which solution you would recommend. Explain the reasons for your recommendation. v.2

Question: Briefly summarize the problem the speakers are discussing. Then state which solution you would recommend. Explain the reasons for your recommendation. v. 2
Despite knowing the problems of excess production of anything, modern humans are constantly ignoring the effects of this on the nature. This essay will examine some of the main causes of surplus production and solutions to tackle the issue. Firstly, The main cause of increasing the output from any industry is over exploitation of resources. I mean that for an industry to produce some goods they require some raw materials, which are often taken from underground leading to the changes in climatic conditions. For example, In many countries due excessive mining of petroleum resources, ground is sinking to fill the gaps. The solution is for the governments to minimize the mining industry and to bring new laws in reducing the over production from any company. Secondly, There are some materials which take more time to dissolve like the plastic. In other words, plastics and other poly chemicals take more than 500 years to mix with sand, In the meantime, they block the rain water entering ground resulting in road blockages. Moreover, if they are burnt, they produce harmful gases, which often cause health issues in humans and other living organisms. People should minimize using harmful plastic covers by thinking of alternatives. It is also mandatory for governments to ban their usage and to spread awareness by showing the side effects of this chemical. Finally, overusing of the ground or sea to produce more food can result in damaging the area. What I mean by this is that excessive fishing in a particular area can affect the species as there is no time for them to reproduce. Similarly, agriculture land looses its properties if they are used many times. The way forward might be to control the over usage of any natural resource by farmers and industries. This can also be encountered by developing artificial technologies like human ponds for fishing. To sum up, it is very clear that humans have destroyed most of the ecosystem by mining, cutting down the trees and by over using land. Both the governments and people have the responsibility to save the endangered species and environment.
Despite knowing the problems of excess production of anything, modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
are
constantly
ignoring the effects of this on the nature. This essay will examine
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
main causes of surplus production and solutions to tackle the issue.

Firstly
, The main cause of increasing the output from any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
exploitation of resources. I mean that for an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
to produce
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
they require
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
raw materials, which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
taken from underground leading to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in climatic conditions.
For example
, In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries due excessive mining of petroleum resources, ground is sinking to fill the gaps. The solution is for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
to minimize the mining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
and to bring new laws in reducing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
production from any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.

Secondly
, There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
materials which take more time to dissolve like the plastic.
In other words
, plastics and other
poly
chemicals take more than 500 years to mix with sand, In the meantime, they block the rain water entering ground resulting in road blockages.
Moreover
, if they
are burnt
, they produce harmful gases, which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
cause health issues in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
and other living organisms.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
should minimize using harmful plastic covers by thinking of alternatives. It is
also
mandatory for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
to ban their usage and to spread awareness by showing the side effects of this chemical.

Finally
, overusing of the ground or sea to produce more food can result in damaging the area. What I mean by this is that excessive fishing in a particular area can affect the species as there is no time for them to reproduce.
Similarly
, agriculture land looses its properties if they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
times. The way forward might be to control the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
usage of any natural resource by farmers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
. This can
also
be encountered
by developing artificial technologies like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
ponds for fishing.

To sum up, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
most of the ecosystem by mining, cutting down the trees and by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
using land. Both the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have the responsibility to save the endangered species and environment.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS essay Question: Briefly summarize the problem the speakers are discussing. Then state which solution you would recommend. Explain the reasons for your recommendation. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
351 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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