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These days many families move to other countries for work. Some people believe that the children in these families benefit from this move. However, others believe that it makes life more difficult for the children. Discuss both these views and give your ow v.6

These days many families move to other countries for work. Some people believe that the children in these families benefit from this move. However, others believe that it makes life more difficult for the children. 6
In this modernized era, leaving the country and moving abroad is not considered as an uncustomary decision. As a matter of fact, children from these moving families will face both pros and cons in their developmental milestones. On one hand, there is no denying that transferring from a developing country to a developed one will give children a better opportunity for their education. In clarification, some of the developed countries, such as America, England, Japan and so forth, pay much attention to the improvement of teaching materials. They will enable students to achieve optimal sensory and motor development by a considerable number of curricular activities and cognitive-empowering textbooks. Besides, children’s imagination will be boosted by reaching fashioned and modern infrastructure. To illustrate, they will have an unprecedented mindset which hardly exists if they live in developed countries. On the other hand, it is attributed that moving abroad partly affects children from some perspectives. First, they probably struggle with managing their studies as previous lessons in their countries are definitely different from lessons right now. What’s more, changing the living environment seems to take them much time to be familiar with the new one. In fact, there is a mountain of circumstances that children have to suffer autism on account of not being able to integrate with their peers. All in all, in my point of view, transfer to other countries may lead to several benefits and drawbacks that parents need to consider for their children. However, personally I think how hard it is, it is still a precise chance to grow up. Therefore, in these circumstances, it is advised that parents need to take more care of their children, ask them about their feelings and give them a hand in overcoming the difficulties.
In this modernized era, leaving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and moving abroad is not considered as an uncustomary decision. As a matter of fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from these moving families will face both pros and cons in their developmental milestones.

On one hand, there is no denying that transferring from a developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to a developed one will give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
a better opportunity for their education. In clarification,
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, such as America, England, Japan and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
forth, pay much attention to the improvement of teaching materials. They will enable students to achieve optimal sensory and motor development by a considerable number of curricular activities and cognitive-empowering textbooks.
Besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
imagination will
be boosted
by reaching fashioned and modern infrastructure. To illustrate, they will have an unprecedented mindset which hardly exists if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
.

On the other hand
, it
is attributed
that moving abroad partly affects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
perspectives.
First
, they
probably
struggle with managing their studies as previous lessons in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are definitely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from lessons right
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. What’s more, changing the living environment seems to take them much time to be familiar with the new one. In fact, there is a mountain of circumstances that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
suffer autism on account of not being able to integrate with their peers.

All in all, in my point of view, transfer to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
may lead to several benefits and drawbacks that parents need to consider for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
However
,
personally
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
it is, it is
still
a precise chance to grow up.
Therefore
, in these circumstances, it
is advised
that parents need to take more care of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, ask them about their feelings and give them a hand in overcoming the difficulties.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay These days many families move to other countries for work. Some people believe that the children in these families benefit from this move. However, others believe that it makes life more difficult for the children. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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