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Some people say that it is a waste of time to plan for the future and that it is more important to focus on the present. To what extend do you agree or disagree? v.2

Some people say that it is a waste of time to plan for the future and that it is more important to focus on the present. v. 2
There are two strikingly contrast view that whether people should plan ahead or whether solely focus on present chances. In my opinion, the two sides are not contradictory and both are needed to achieve a successful life. On the one hand, it is a well-established fact that everyone must create plans for every activity in their life, at all time. To begin with, by planning for the future, people can set out clear targets, which should be accompanied with a self-made step-by-step guideline. Thanks to this, planners tend to devote time and effort to pursuing these goals instead of roaming around aimlessly and wasting time doing fruitless works. In addition, in a fast-changing world, it is necessary to precisely anticipate the upcoming situations, along with difficulties and opportunities it provides as well. By doing this, people will not find the themselves ill-prepared for the problems and can quickly seize the actual chances. For instance, in the fiercely competitive market of a globalizing world, any business leaders who have a far-sighted and comprehensive vision definitely help his or her own company to have an advantageous position over other competitors. On the other hand, utilization of the present opportunities is the key to the materialization of plans. This due to the fact that by concentrating on current situation, people may recognize a large number of existing obstacles to their future plan which requires to be thoroughly addressed before proceeding. This can greatly contribute to the fulfillment of plan because it reduces the likelihood of giving up half way when facing with numerous difficulties at the start. Another reason needed to be considered is that if people never take any real action, their future plans will remain as abstract thoughts in mind only. Therefore, planning without immediate action would be neither realistic nor productive. In conclusion, creating plans for future greatly increase the likelihood of being successful, but the prerequisite is that we should convert our plan into real action step by step from the very start.
There are two
strikingly
contrast view that whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plan
ahead or whether
solely
focus on present chances. In my opinion, the two sides are not contradictory and both
are needed
to achieve a successful life.

On the one hand, it is a well-established fact that everyone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
create
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plans
for every activity in their life, at all time. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, by planning for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can set out
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
targets, which should be
The usual collocation for "accompany" is "by," not "with." It is better to say this: "accompanied by".
accompanied with
a self-made step-by-step guideline. Thanks to this, planners tend to devote time and effort to pursuing these goals
instead
of roaming around
aimlessly
and wasting time doing fruitless works.
In addition
, in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-changing world, it is necessary to
precisely
anticipate the upcoming situations, along with difficulties and opportunities it provides
as well
. By doing this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will not find
Possible typo. Did you mean "the" or "themselves"?
the themselves
ill-prepared for the problems and can
quickly
seize the actual chances.
For instance
, in the
fiercely
competitive market of a globalizing world, any business leaders who have a far-sighted and comprehensive vision definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
to have an advantageous position over other competitors.

On the other hand
, utilization of the present opportunities is the key to the materialization of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plans
. This due to the fact that by concentrating on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
situation,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may recognize
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
existing obstacles to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plan
which requires to be
thoroughly
addressed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
proceeding. This can
greatly
contribute to the fulfillment of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plan
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the likelihood of giving up
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
half way
when facing with numerous difficulties at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
. Another reason needed to
be considered
is that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
never take any real action, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plans
will remain as abstract thoughts in mind
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.
Therefore
, planning without immediate action would be neither realistic nor productive.

In conclusion
, creating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plans
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
greatly
increase the likelihood of being successful,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the prerequisite is that we should convert our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plan
into real action step by step from the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that it is a waste of time to plan for the future and that it is more important to focus on the present. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
334 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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