Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

These days many families move abroad for work Some people believe that this benefits the children in these families Others believe that it makes their lives more difficult Discuss both views and give your own opinion v.1

These days many families move abroad for work Some people believe that this benefits the children in these families Others believe that it makes their lives more difficult 1
In modern life, social media is developing fast. It is used by many people all over the world. Social media is especially very popular among the young. However, there are many young people who cannot control themselves and are addicted to social media. Addiction to social media has many serious effects, including poor study habits and bad health. First, addiction to social media makes the youth have bad grades in studies. Because of social media, many students who were excellent students have become bad students. Every day, these students come to class, but they do not focus on studying. While their professors are teaching, they are using cellphones to surf Facebook, Instagram or chat with friends on Messenger. They always check their cell phones every five minutes to see what is going on social media. If the young use social media in classes, how can they listen to the professors and understand what professors are saying? Moreover, not only at school, but also at home these young students who are addicted to social media do not do exercise or read the new lesson before going to school, because they are busy with social media. Therefore, Addiction to social media causes a bad habit in studies. It can change a young person from an excellent student with a bad one. And last but not least, using social media too much will have a serious impact on health. Because the young are addicted to social media, they will go to bed too late to read news on Facebook or chat with friends. Staying up late is really harmful to the health, especially, the brain. If the young do not sleep enough, their health will be affected seriously by losing weight or always feeling tired. Their brains also will not work effectively and they will be in sleepy condition. Moreover, addiction to social media can cause depression in the young. When the young use social media, they will see other people on social media. If the young see other people who are better than them in appearance or talent, they can feel inferior. These young people can envy the people who are more famous or intelligent than them, and they also feel ashamed of themselves. They always wonder why they cannot be excellent, talented or beautiful like others. Therefore, they feel under pressure, stressed and depressed. These mental problems are very dangerous to the young people because these mental problems cause the young people lose their minds and eventually, choose death. In conclusion, although using social media has many benefits in our lives, addiction to social media is not good. It will have awful influences on studying and have bad effects on health. In order to avoid being addicted to social media, young people should spend more time playing sports, studying and taking part in activities in schools.
In modern life,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is developing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
all over the world.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is
especially
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
.
However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
cannot control themselves and are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
addicted
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
. Addiction to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
serious effects, including poor study habits and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
health.

First
, addiction to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the youth have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
grades in studies.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
were excellent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. Every day, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they do not focus on studying. While their professors are teaching, they are using cellphones to surf Facebook, Instagram or chat with friends on Messenger. They always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
their cell phones every five minutes to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
what is going on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
in classes, how can they listen to the professors and understand what professors are saying?
Moreover
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
at school,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
at home these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
addicted
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
do not do exercise or read the new lesson
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
going to school,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are busy with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
.
Therefore
, Addiction to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
causes a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
habit in studies. It can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
person from an excellent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
one.

And last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
too much will have a serious impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
addicted
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
, they will go to bed too late to read news on Facebook or chat with friends. Staying up late is
really
harmful to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
,
especially
, the brain. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
do not sleep
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
seriously
by losing weight or always feeling tired. Their brains
also
will not work
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
effectively and
they will be in sleepy condition.
Moreover
, addiction to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
can cause depression in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
. When the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are better than
In formal / written English, it is recommended that you use a subject pronoun.
them
in appearance or talent, they can feel inferior. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can envy the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
or intelligent than them, and they
also
feel ashamed of themselves. They always wonder why they cannot be excellent, talented or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
like others.
Therefore
, they feel under pressure,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
and depressed. These mental problems are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these mental problems cause the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lose their minds and
eventually
, choose death.

In conclusion
, although using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, addiction to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
. It will have awful influences on studying and have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. In order to avoid being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
addicted
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should spend more time playing sports, studying and taking part in activities in schools.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay These days many families move abroad for work Some people believe that this benefits the children in these families Others believe that it makes their lives more difficult 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
475 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts