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These days many children spend a lot of time playing video games and many parents feel this is very negative. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

These days many children spend a lot of time playing video games and many parents feel this is very negative. v. 1
There has been a controversial issue that public transportation should be free to reduce traffic congestion. While some people agree that this would be a good solution, others argue that this has some drawbacks. From my perspective, I firmly believe that free public transportation's benefits do outweigh its drawbacks. On the one hand, by providing fare-free public transportation, the government can encourage citizens to limit their use of private transportation such as: cars and motorbikes which are the two main causes of traffic congestion. A large number of personal vehicles on the roads have been exerting a lot of pressure on the traffic. In order to solve this problem, the government should offer free public transportation to encourage citizens to use it more frequently. For instance, if 20 people take the same bus route to travel from their office to their home in rush hours, there will be fewer cars and motorbikes on the roads. As a result, traffic congestion will be significantly reduced as buses and metros are designed to transport a large number of passengers. In addition, reducing traffic congestion also leads to a decrease in the traffic accident rate. On the other hand, despite the fact that providing free public transportation is an effective solution to traffic congestion, this also has some problems. The salary of bus drivers will become a financial burden as the transport cost is free. This will demand the government to increase tax on other services. Consequently, there is inequality between people who use zero-fare public transportation and people who do not. In addition, providing free public transportation not only means that encouraging citizens to use it more frequently but also leads to the infrastructure degradation. In conclusion, reducing traffic congestion by providing free public transportation has both advantages and disadvantages. However, its goods points are more significant than its drawbacks.
There has been a controversial issue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
congestion
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that this would be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
solution, others argue that this has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks. From my perspective, I
firmly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transportation's benefits do outweigh its drawbacks.

On the one hand, by providing fare-free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can encourage citizens to limit their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
such as: cars and motorbikes which are the two main causes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
congestion
.
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
A large number of
personal vehicles on the roads have been exerting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
pressure on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
. In order to solve this problem, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should offer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
to encourage citizens to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it more
frequently
.
For instance
, if 20
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
take the same bus route to travel from their office to their home in rush hours, there will be fewer cars and motorbikes on the roads.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
congestion
will be
significantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
as buses and metros
are designed
to transport
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
passengers.
In addition
, reducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
congestion
also
leads to a decrease in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
accident rate.

On the other hand
, despite the fact that providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
is an effective solution to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
congestion
, this
also
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems. The salary of bus drivers will become a financial burden as the transport cost is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
. This will demand the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to increase tax on other services.
Consequently
, there is inequality between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
zero-fare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who do not.
In addition
, providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
means that encouraging citizens to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it more
frequently
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
leads to the infrastructure degradation.

In conclusion
, reducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
congestion
by providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
has both advantages and disadvantages.
However
, its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
points are more significant than its drawbacks.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay These days many children spend a lot of time playing video games and many parents feel this is very negative. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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