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These days, in many countries, fewer and fewer people want to become teachers, particularly in secondary schools. What are the reasons for this, and how could the problem be solved? v.4

These days, in many countries, fewer and fewer people want to become teachers, particularly in secondary schools. What are the reasons for this, and how could the problem be solved? v. 4
These days fewer people are interested in becoming high school teachers in many countries. Many reasons contribute to this trend and low wages for teachers and teenage disciplinary problems are most significant among them. However, some solutions can be implemented to encourage talented youth to pursue the teaching profession including better remuneration and reasonable workloads, for example. Anyone can notice that the number of secondary school teachers is declining and young people are taking more interests in becoming an engineer, pilot, IT professional and doctor, not a teacher. Studies show that teachers are not well paid and their salaries are far less than other professionals like bankers or pilots. Moreover, in many countries, being a high school teacher is not a prestigious career and this social dogma is a culprit to refrain the talented individuals become teachers. In addition, according to disciplinary studied, high school going pupils behaviours is another reason many teachers do not feel like being in the right profession. Parental focus on their children has reduced and consequently, it has created a whole new generation who misbehave in schools. Some initiatives may encourage the future generation to go into the teaching profession. First, increasing the salaries and benefits for the teachers would be a great step. It would encourage young students to ponder about becoming a teacher. Furthermore, to reduce the teachers' workloads, schools should employ assistants to help the tutors. Lastly, school authority should get involved in maintaining a better teaching environment and implement corporal punishment for misbehaving pupils. To conclude, some problems are decreasing the numbers of secondary level teachers, nevertheless, proper solutions are there to address these problems to encourage more talented individuals to come in the teaching profession.
These days fewer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are interested
in becoming high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
reasons contribute to this trend and low wages for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
and teenage disciplinary problems are most significant among them.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions can
be implemented
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
encourage
talented youth to pursue the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profession
including better remuneration and reasonable workloads,
for example
.

Anyone can notice that the number of secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
is declining and young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are taking more interests in becoming an engineer, pilot, IT professional and doctor, not a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
. Studies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
are not well paid and their salaries are far less than other professionals like bankers or pilots.
Moreover
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries, being a high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
is not a prestigious career and this social dogma is a culprit to refrain the talented individuals become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
.
In addition
, according to disciplinary studied, high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
going pupils
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
is another reason
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
do not feel like being in the right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profession
. Parental focus on their children has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
and
consequently
, it has created a whole new generation who misbehave in schools.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
initiatives may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
encourage
the future generation to go into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profession
.
First
, increasing the salaries and benefits for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
would be a great step. It would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
encourage
young students to ponder about becoming a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
.
Furthermore
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the teachers' workloads,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should employ assistants to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the tutors.
Lastly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
authority should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved in maintaining a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
environment and implement corporal punishment for misbehaving pupils.

To conclude
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems are decreasing the numbers of secondary level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
,
nevertheless
, proper solutions are there to address these problems to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
encourage
more talented individuals to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profession
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay These days, in many countries, fewer and fewer people want to become teachers, particularly in secondary schools. What are the reasons for this, and how could the problem be solved? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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