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These days, in many countries fewer and fewer people want to become teachers, particularly in secondary schools. v.2

These days, in many countries fewer and fewer people want to become teachers, particularly in secondary schools. v. 2
Nowadays, less and less students are opting in to become a teacher, especially in high schools. Even though there is a plethora of reasons why this profession is perceived as an unattractive, there are also some solutions how to tackle these issues. This essay will further explore this interesting topic, and suggests some solutions before it comes to a conclusion. Firstly, in some countries a teacher's job is a Sisyphean task, and highly demanding. After working so hard in the schools, they also take work at home to make sure they keep up with the curriculum. On top of that, teachers are expected to be a superhuman, and have multi skills, control over 30-40 kids, teach them everything, and be very vigilant. For instance, my sister is a lecturer, and she is exhausted teaching all those kids in her classroom, and as if it is not enough, she brings a ton of paperwork home, and continues to work till the middle of the night. She also has three young children who require her attention. As a result her own children left neglected. Moreover, if her students have behavioural issues, or academically falling behind, then their parents call her and blame her why she was not vigilant. This example shows that the teachers have increased range of duties, responsibilities, which make the curriculum overcrowded. Moreover, in some countries such as Findland teachers have an open brief to decide what to teach and how to teach. However, in many other countries teachers do not have this autonomy to decide, they have to follow explicit guidance. this means this system undermines the ability to be responsive and tailor teaching to a student's need. This can be so boring and directly contribute to the unpopularity of this job. Last, but definitely not the least reason is than teachers have poor salary. For example, in my country, teachers earn approximately between $200 to $300 per month, and this barely covers their monthly costs. These problems are not insurmountable. These issues could be solved by increasing teacher salary, report what a great job teachers are doing, and embrace them via the media. The government should invest in recruiting more teaching assistants. This means offering more help for teachers such as sharing the responsibilities between a teaching assistant and an educator would ease the burden. To encapsulate, while there are a myriad of reasons why fewer people have been deciding no to become a tutor, there are also a plethora of solutions to make this profession more appealing by sharing the responsibilities.
Nowadays, less and
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun students is countable.
less
students are opting in to become a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
,
especially
in high schools.
Even though
there is a plethora of reasons why this profession
is perceived
as an unattractive, there are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions how to tackle these issues. This essay will
further
explore this interesting topic, and suggests
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to a conclusion.

Firstly
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
a teacher's job is a Sisyphean task, and
highly
demanding. After working
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
in the schools, they
also
take work at home to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up with the curriculum.
On top of that
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to be a superhuman, and have multi
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, control over 30-40 kids, teach them everything, and be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
vigilant.
For instance
, my sister is a lecturer, and she
is exhausted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
all those kids in her classroom, and as if it is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
, she brings a ton of paperwork home, and continues to work till the middle of the night. She
also
has three young children who require her attention.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
a result her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
neglected.
Moreover
, if her students have
Possible spelling mistake. 'behavioural' is British English.
behavioural
issues, or
academically
falling behind, then their parents call her and blame her why she was not vigilant. This example
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
have increased range of duties, responsibilities, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the curriculum overcrowded.

Moreover
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
Findland
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
have an open brief to decide what to teach and how to teach.
However
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
do not have this autonomy to decide, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
follow explicit guidance.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
means this system undermines the ability to be responsive and tailor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
to a student's need. This can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
boring and
directly
contribute to the unpopularity of this job.

Last,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
definitely not the least reason is than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
have poor salary.
For example
, in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
earn approximately between $200 to $300 per month, and this
barely
covers their monthly costs.

These problems are not insurmountable. These issues could
be solved
by increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
salary, report what a great job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
are doing, and embrace them via the media. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should invest in recruiting more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
assistants. This means offering more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
such as sharing the responsibilities between a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
assistant and an educator would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
the burden.

To encapsulate, while there are a
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "myriads"?
myriad
of reasons why fewer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have been deciding no to become a tutor, there are
also
a plethora of solutions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
this profession more appealing by sharing the responsibilities.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay These days, in many countries fewer and fewer people want to become teachers, particularly in secondary schools. v. 2

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
425 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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