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These day it seems that an increasing number of people are leaving rural areas to live in the city. Discuss some of the effects of rural depopulation and suggest some ways on which this trend could be reversed. v.2

These day it seems that an increasing number of people are leaving rural areas to live in the city. Discuss some of the effects of rural depopulation and suggest some ways on which this trend could be reversed. v. 2
It is true that today, there is an increasing population movement from the countryside to the big cities in search of work and excitement. Effects of this issue vary and essential solutions need to be adopted to tackle from its root cause. First of all, rural depopulation has a detrimental impact mainly on the urban areas. As a result of overpopulation, many cities throughout the world are prone to environmental problems such as air, water, and noise pollution. Hence, a low quality of these sources may increase the risk of many fatal ailments such as lung cancer, throat cancer, and heart disease. In addition, the uncontrolled boom of citizens in overcrowded metropolises may lead to several serious social issues such as the high level of unemployment, and the increasing rate of crime. Consequently, these would be a restriction to improve the living standards of urban dwellers. However, this problem is not intractable. The simplest measure is that government should bridge the disparity of facilities between rural and urban areas. It is undeniable that at the heart of the matter, people find services and infrastructure such as shopping centers, hospitals, and schools more readily available in the cities than in the countryside. Thus, raising the standard of community services might be necessary for every rural area to attract more inhabitants. Another solution to reverse the rural-urban migration would be for authorities to provide subsidies for business and professional workers. By this way, citizens would have more motivations to relocate to rural regions. In conclusion, the tide of rural depopulation could not be stemmed in short term. Nevertheless, there are still effective methods to address the problem from its main cause.
It is true that
today
, there is an increasing population movement from the countryside to the
big
cities in search of work and excitement. Effects of this issue vary and essential solutions need to
be adopted
to tackle from its root cause.

First of all
,
rural
depopulation has a detrimental impact
mainly
on the urban areas.
As a result
of overpopulation,
many
cities throughout the world are prone to environmental problems such as air, water, and noise pollution.
Hence
, a low quality of these sources may increase the
risk
of
many
fatal ailments such as lung cancer, throat cancer, and heart disease.
In addition
, the uncontrolled boom of citizens in overcrowded metropolises may lead to several serious social issues such as the high level of unemployment, and the increasing rate of crime.
Consequently
, these would be a restriction to
improve
the living standards of urban dwellers.

However
, this problem is not intractable. The simplest measure is that
government
should bridge the disparity of facilities between
rural
and urban areas. It is undeniable that at the heart of the matter,
people
find services and infrastructure such as shopping centers, hospitals, and schools more
readily
available in the cities than in the countryside.
Thus
, raising the standard of community services might be necessary for every
rural
area to attract more inhabitants. Another solution to reverse the rural-urban migration would be for authorities to provide subsidies for business and professional workers. By this way, citizens would have more motivations to relocate to
rural
regions.

In conclusion
, the tide of
rural
depopulation could not
be stemmed
in short term.
Nevertheless
, there are
still
effective methods to address the problem from its main cause.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
A man who knows two languages is worth two men.
French Proverb

IELTS essay These day it seems that an increasing number of people are leaving rural areas to live in the city. Discuss some of the effects of rural depopulation and suggest some ways on which this trend could be reversed. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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