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Some people say that the best way to discourage smoking is to make smoking illegal in public spaces Other people say that this is not enough and that other measures are needed Discuss both views and give your opinion v.2

Some people say that the best way to discourage smoking is to make smoking illegal in public spaces Other people say that this is not enough and that other measures are needed 2
There are opinion on how to prevent and discourage people from smoking. Some say that making smoking illegal in public spaces is the best way possible. While others claim that more need to be done. Both sides have their own merits, but I am more inclined to the second point of view. Total ban on smoking in public could reduce the number of smokers. Because some might feel embarressed when smoking where noone else smokes. Or just because they simply don’t want to go against the laws. However, many can still cotinue to smoke at home or in other private areas. So the laws alone couldn’t prohibit this bad habit entirely. There are some ways way we can do to encourage people to quit this bad habit. To begin, we can use the internet, newspapers, TV chanels, etc to provide people with information provide people information about the harmful effects of smoking, like lung cancer or other respiratory issues, etc. Additionally, some special programs should be held at schools, teaching children about the damage of smoking. By that, not only the adults will see those negative effects and actively stop smoking, but also the younger generations will become more aware of this problem and won’t smoke in the future. Smoking is a critical problem. And it is hard to convince people to stop doing that. But I believe that laws accompanied by proper educations could do a lot to prevent this problem.
There are opinion on how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
and discourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
say that making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
illegal in public spaces is the best way possible.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
others claim that more need to
be done
. Both sides have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
merits,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I am more inclined to the second point of view.

Total ban on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in public could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the number of smokers.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
might feel
Possible spelling mistake found.
embarressed
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
where
Possible spelling mistake found.
noone
else smokes. Or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
simply
don’t want to go against the laws.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
can
still
Possible spelling mistake found.
cotinue
to smoke at home or in other private areas.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the laws alone couldn’t prohibit this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habit
entirely
.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ways way we can do to encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to quit this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habit. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the internet, newspapers, TV
Possible spelling mistake found.
chanels
, etc to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with information provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
information about the harmful effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
, like lung cancer or other respiratory issues, etc.
Additionally
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
special programs should
be held
at schools, teaching children about the
The usual collocation for word "damage" is "to" not "of." Revise: "damage to".
damage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
. By that, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the adults will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
those
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects and
actively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the younger generations will become more aware of this problem and won’t smoke in the future.

Smoking is a critical problem. And it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to convince
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
doing that.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I believe that laws accompanied by proper educations could do a lot to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
this problem.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that the best way to discourage smoking is to make smoking illegal in public spaces Other people say that this is not enough and that other measures are needed 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
242 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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