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There was a time when people only shopped out of necessity but these days shopping seems to have become a new form of leisure activity. People do not appreciate the value of money anymore. To what extent do you agree with this view? v.1

There was a time when people only shopped out of necessity but these days shopping seems to have become a new form of leisure activity. People do not appreciate the value of money anymore. v. 1
In this civilized society with the dramatic growth of technology, some people often claim that the computer is the most significant invention of the 21th century. Although this technical device is undoubtedly advantageous to human, I would argue that there are still other meaningful inventions should be mentioned. In this essay, I will state my point of view. In the one hand, we cannot deny the huge advantages bringing by the computers for some reason. Firstly, this device can store an enormous amount of data, which makes people's life become much more convenient. For example, students and professors can look up thousands of document pages easily. Secondly, with its splendid information-processing ability, human can save a numerous time and improve their productivity. For instance, computer programs like Microsolf Word, Excel, PowerPoint are tools we use in daily life to work and study. These programs assist people in learning, teaching and researching way more effectively. In the other hand, there are other inventions should be considered as milestones in human beings. The internet, as an illustration, consolidates with the computer to improve data-storage, enhance the computer capability and even helps bring the world closer. For example, one can communicate with another overseas through Facebook just by sitting at home. Additionally, one different invention cannot be underestimated is the smart phone. It can be said that this small portable device contains all the facilities of a computer. In conclusion, while it is true that computer is indispensable, I believe there are other inventions that have been more vital.
In this civilized society with the dramatic growth of technology,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
claim that the computer is the most significant invention of the
Please check the suffix, if this is an ordinal number.
21th
century. Although this technical device is
undoubtedly
advantageous to human, I would argue that there are
still
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
meaningful inventions should
be mentioned
. In this essay, I will state my point of view.

In the one hand, we cannot deny the huge advantages bringing by the computers for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reason.
Firstly
, this device can store an enormous amount of data, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's life become much more convenient.
For example
, students and professors can look up thousands of document pages
easily
.
Secondly
, with its splendid information-processing ability, human can save a numerous time and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their productivity.
For instance
, computer programs like
Possible spelling mistake found.
Microsolf
Word, Excel, PowerPoint are tools we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in daily life to work and study. These programs assist
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in learning, teaching and researching way more
effectively
.

In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
inventions should
be considered
as milestones in human beings. The internet, as an illustration, consolidates with the computer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
data-storage, enhance the computer capability and even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
bring the world closer.
For example
, one can communicate with another overseas through Facebook
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
by sitting at home.
Additionally
, one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
invention cannot
be underestimated
is the smart phone. It can
be said
that this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
portable device contains all the facilities of a computer.

In conclusion
, while it is true that computer is indispensable, I believe there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
inventions that have been more vital.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay There was a time when people only shopped out of necessity but these days shopping seems to have become a new form of leisure activity. People do not appreciate the value of money anymore. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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