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THERE SEEMS TO BE AN INCREASING NUMBER OF SERIOUS CRIMES COMMITTED EACH YEAR. WHILE SOME THINK THE BEST WAY IS TO USE THE DEATH PENALTY AS A DETERRENT, MANY PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT OTHER MEASURE WILL BE NEEDED. DISCUSS BOTH VIEWS v.3

THERE SEEMS TO BE AN INCREASING NUMBER OF SERIOUS CRIMES COMMITTED EACH YEAR. WHILE SOME THINK THE BEST WAY IS TO USE THE DEATH PENALTY AS A DETERRENT, MANY PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT OTHER MEASURE WILL BE NEEDED. 3
Annually, criminal activities have been skyrocketing by leaps and bounds. Some people think that introducing corporal punishment would deter such acts, whereas, vast majority propose that other corporal measures should be adopted. This essay will provide a concrete discussion on both viewpoints. On the one hand, the proponents of death penalty have asserted that such ideology would be an ultimate way to terminate crime, as this would discourage individuals from committing such folly conducts. Take, for instance, the Mosaic Law found in the Bible. One of the laws states that anyone who commits murder must be stoned to death. As a result, the Israelites, who were the inhabitants of the land, avoided anything that could lead to their untimely death. In addition, a recent law in China also points that anyone caught in illegal drug business shall be killed by hanging, and this has prompted people to avoid such business deals. On the other hand, the antagonists give preference to the use of techniques, like, imprisonment, induced hard labor, and other forms of social services, since they viewed instant death sentence as a harsh treatment. Moreover, they claim that serious offences can, at times, be done unknowingly, and this could be obvious from someone who committed murder while trying to self-defend himself. To illustrate the success rate of these strategies, Ghana has recorded about 57 percent reduction in violent acts over the past 5 years. In conclusion, penalizing hoodlums is fully dependent on the gravity of the act, and there ought to be some consequences of such behaviors. Therefore, an appropriate measure must be put in place on whether to incorporate less severe strategies, or to sentence the culprit to death immediately.
Annually
, criminal activities have been skyrocketing by leaps and bounds.
Some
people
think
that introducing corporal punishment would deter such acts, whereas, vast majority propose that other corporal measures should
be adopted
. This essay will provide a concrete discussion on both viewpoints.

On the one hand, the proponents of death penalty have asserted that such ideology would be an ultimate way to terminate crime, as this would discourage individuals from committing such folly conducts. Take,
for instance
, the Mosaic Law found in the Bible. One of the laws states that anyone who commits murder
must
be stoned
to death.
As a result
, the Israelites, who were the inhabitants of the land, avoided anything that could lead to their
untimely
death.
In addition
, a recent law in China
also
points that anyone caught in illegal drug business shall
be killed
by hanging, and this has prompted
people
to avoid such business deals.

On the other hand
, the antagonists give preference to the
use
of techniques, like, imprisonment, induced
hard
labor, and other forms of social services, since they viewed instant death sentence as a harsh treatment.
Moreover
, they claim that serious
offences
can, at times,
be done
unknowingly
, and this could be obvious from someone who committed murder while trying to self-defend himself. To illustrate the success rate of these strategies, Ghana has recorded about 57 percent reduction in violent acts over the past 5 years.

In conclusion
, penalizing hoodlums is
fully
dependent on the gravity of the act, and there ought to be
some
consequences of such behaviors.
Therefore
, an appropriate measure
must
be put
in place on whether to incorporate less severe strategies, or to sentence the culprit to death immediately.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay THERE SEEMS TO BE AN INCREASING NUMBER OF SERIOUS CRIMES COMMITTED EACH YEAR. WHILE SOME THINK THE BEST WAY IS TO USE THE DEATH PENALTY AS A DETERRENT, MANY PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT OTHER MEASURE WILL BE NEEDED. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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