Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Information technology enables many people to do their work outside their workplace. Do the benefits of this mobility outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.1

Information technology enables many people to do their work outside their workplace. Do the benefits of this mobility outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1
Technology has significantly changed the way we live and work. For instance it has allowed many of us to have flexible work hours. When we can have our data available in a cloud, we can work pretty much from anywhere in the world. Some people believe that this flexibility improves the quality of our life and work. However, in my opinion, working from home has both benefits and drawbacks. One of the most important benefits of working from home is the ability to spend more time with our loved ones. Some people argue that this will boost the morale of employees and encourage them to give their best. Remote working also benefits parents of very young children. A lot of women quit their jobs to take care of their children. If companies allow them to work from their home, they can join the workforce again. Companies also benefit when employees work from their home. They can save money on office rentals and utility bills. On the flip side, remote working has its drawbacks too. Some people believe that having a nice workplace where people can work together as a team and communicate closely is more beneficial than working from outside. I have a personal example on how distance can interfere with work outcomes. My boss travels a lot and sometimes I have a hard time meeting him. Once he asked me to prepare a presentation for a meeting we were going to have. As I started to work on it, I found out that I had some questions and I couldn´t reach him to clarify my doubts. I finished my work and then weeks later, when he got back, I showed him my presentation and it was not what he wanted. As a result, I had to do it again, which was a waste of time. To conclude, there are both benefits and drawbacks to working from home. Flexible hours or freelancing is not for everyone; however, there are lots of employees who benefit from it.
Technology has
significantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the way we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. For
The comma is probably missing here: "instance, it".
instance it
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of us to have flexible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
hours. When we can have our data available in a cloud, we can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
pretty much from anywhere in the world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that this flexibility
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
the quality of our life and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
However
, in my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
from home has both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
and drawbacks.

One of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
from home is the ability to spend more time with our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that this will boost the morale of employees and encourage them to give their best. Remote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
parents of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
young children.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
women quit their jobs to take care of their children. If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from their home, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the workforce again.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Companies
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
when employees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from their home. They can save money on office rentals and utility bills.

On the flip side, remote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
has its drawbacks too.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that having a nice workplace where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
together as a team and communicate
closely
is more beneficial than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
from outside. I have a personal example on how distance can interfere with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
outcomes. My boss travels a lot and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
I have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
time meeting him. Once he asked me to prepare a presentation for a meeting we were going to have. As I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
on it, I found out that I had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
questions and I
You used an accent character instead of an apostrophe. Please use either "couldn't" or "couldn’t".
couldn´t
reach him to clarify my doubts. I finished my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and then weeks later, when he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
back, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
him my presentation and it was not what he wanted.
As a result
, I had to do it again, which was a waste of time.

To conclude
, there are both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
and drawbacks to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
from home. Flexible hours or freelancing is not for everyone;
however
, there are lots of employees who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
from it.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
We should learn languages because language is the only thing worth knowing even poorly.
Kató Lomb

IELTS essay Information technology enables many people to do their work outside their workplace. Do the benefits of this mobility outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
336 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts