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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? there is nothing that young people can teach older people. Use specific reasons and example to support your position. v.22

there is nothing that young people can teach older people. Use specific reasons and example to support your position. v. 22
I have totally disagree with the statement that there is nothing that young people can teach older people. For several reasons, which i will mention below, I think that young people can teach older people many things. First of all, young people intend to learn now things faster. They faster learn new technologies. Second of all, young people are more motivated. They aspire to succeed and make a good career, which requires good knowledge and experience. So, they try to get more knowledge and experience from different sources like internet, books, newspaper, magazine and course from conversations with other people. In addition to this young people bring many fresh ideas to the team they are working on. For example. When my friend was hired as a software developer, he surprised everybody with his energy, a bunch of new and fresh ideas about what could be done to improve the process. He was the youngest person in the team, but everybody listened to him and it was like a fresh air, an impulse, which made everyone work harder. Finally, young people often know more about new technologies. For example, my husband is 26 years old and he is a good professional in software development. So, he often asks to read a lecture for different companies and audiences. Needless to say, the majority of people who attend those lectures are older than my husband. To sum up, I think that young people have many things to teach older people. Moreover, I think that people from every generation have something to learn from each other. People learn through their entire lives from books that hold the experience and the history of previous generations as well as from their own experience and experience of the younger people.
I have
totally
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "disagreed".
disagree
with the statement that there is nothing that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. For several reasons, which
Did you mean "I"?
i
will mention below, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
intend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
things faster. They faster
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
new technologies. Second of all,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more motivated. They aspire to succeed and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
career, which requires
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
knowledge and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more knowledge and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
sources like internet, books, newspaper, magazine and course from conversations with other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In addition
to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
fresh
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
to the team they are working on.
For example
. When my friend
was hired
as a software developer, he surprised everybody with his energy, a bunch of new and fresh
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
about what could
be done
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the process. He was the youngest person in the team,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
everybody listened to him and it was like a fresh air, an impulse, which made everyone work harder.

Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
know more about new technologies.
For example
, my husband is 26 years
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
old and
he is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
professional in software development.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, he
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
asks to read a lecture for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and audiences. Needless to say, the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who attend those lectures are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
than my husband.

To sum up, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things to teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Moreover
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from every generation have something to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
from each other.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
through their entire
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
from books that hold the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and the history of previous generations
as well
as from their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
of the younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Learn a language, and you’ll avoid a war.
Arab Proverb

IELTS essay there is nothing that young people can teach older people. Use specific reasons and example to support your position. v. 22

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
293 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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