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Businesses should do anything they can to make a profit. v.4

Businesses should do anything they can to make a profit. v. 4
It is believed that businesses people should use any kinds of ways in generating profit. I strongly disagree with the statement, as there should be some regulations and policies that business people should follow and the following essay will discuss it in details about it. To begin with, if business people are allowed to do anything they like in generating profits, then there would be a serious threat to the environment. Many companies and corporations are building projects based on their commercial senses, without assessing the impact of them to the surrounding areas. In many cases, there were a lot of energy companies that had demolished forest areas, which were the home to various kinds of endangered animals. Should there be no restrictions on these companies, the world will gradually lose its' biodiversities. And then, it is obvious that there should be a code of ethics and regulations in doing business. They are important for protecting customers from any inappropriate acts of business owners. It has been reported that in order to save production costs and to increase profit margins, a lot of manufacturing companies have used dangerous ingredients as a part of their production process. And then, some companies were hiring labours which were below the standard age and compensated them with minimum salary to reduce labour costs. These unhealthy practices would be a serious threat to many societies and communities. In conclusion, I personally disagree if people could do anything to make their business profit. Without the existences of business restrictions, law and policies, then it would generate a devastating problem for mankind, such as deforestation and human trafficking.
It
is believed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
any kinds of ways in generating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profit
. I
strongly
disagree with the statement, as there should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
regulations and policies that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should follow and the following essay will discuss it in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
about it.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to do anything they like in generating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profits
, then there would be a serious threat to the environment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and corporations are building projects based on their commercial senses, without assessing the impact of them to the surrounding areas. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases, there were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
that had demolished forest areas, which were the home to various kinds of endangered animals. Should there be no restrictions on these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
, the world will
gradually
lose
An apostrophe is never used to form possessive case pronouns. Did you mean: "its"?
its'
Possible spelling mistake found.
biodiversities
.

And then, it is obvious that there should be a code of ethics and regulations in doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
. They are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for protecting customers from any inappropriate acts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
owners. It has
been reported
that in order to save production costs and to increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profit
margins,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
manufacturing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
ingredients as a part of their production process. And then,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
were hiring
Possible spelling mistake. 'labours' is British English.
labours
which were below the standard age and compensated them with minimum salary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
costs. These unhealthy practices would be a serious threat to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
societies and communities.

In conclusion
, I
personally
disagree if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could do anything to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profit
. Without the existences of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
restrictions, law and policies, then it would generate a devastating problem for mankind, such as deforestation and human trafficking.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Businesses should do anything they can to make a profit. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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