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There is no need to go out to see live performance (concert. . . ) because it is better to see them on the TV or Computer screen. Do you agree or disagree v.2

We live in an age, when discussion of whether it is more entertaining for people to watch TV or to take part in the live performance is on agenda. I partially agree with the discussion as it is ought to bring excitement for people who are interested in joining events, however, there are also supporters of TV. To begin with, there are several reasons why people tend to watch TV. The biggest reason is that people assume that attending live performances is a money trap and inappropriate for people. /////The second reason is that people might find it harsh to join in a live performance if they hesitate oppressive environment or the risk of injury when being in crowded places. Furthermore, those who watch TV are likely to see more parts of a show more clearly due to the improvements in the television and the movements of cameras. On the other hand, people who think watching events on TV is more enjoyable may disregard the beauty of participation and interaction given by participating in a live performance. It is a fact that the atmosphere in live performances revive excitement and amusement that other people could not experience if watching TV at home. For instance, going to a football match is not only watching players and goals but also being a part of the cheering crowd. Secondly, people can have a chance to have a conservation with the performers. People could handshake or ask for signatures from their favorite idols. To conclude, watching events on TV or participating in live performances have their own supporters and benefits. Even though some people enjoy attending events in a live show, I prefer to watch TV.
We
live
in an age, when discussion of whether it is more entertaining for
people
to
watch
TV or to
take part
in the
live
performance
is on agenda. I
partially
agree
with the discussion as it is ought to bring excitement for
people
who
are interested
in joining
events
,
however
, there are
also
supporters of TV.

To
begin
with, there are several reasons why
people
tend to
watch
TV. The biggest reason is that
people
assume that attending
live
performances
is a money trap and inappropriate for
people
. /////The second reason is that
people
might find it harsh to
join
in a
live
performance
if they hesitate oppressive environment or the
risk
of injury when being in crowded places.
Furthermore
, those who
watch
TV are likely to
see
more parts of a
show
more
clearly
due to the improvements
in the television
and the movements of cameras.

On the other hand
,
people
who
think
watching
events
on TV is more enjoyable may disregard the beauty of participation and interaction
given
by participating in a
live
performance
. It is a fact that the atmosphere in
live
performances
revive excitement and amusement that other
people
could not experience if watching TV at home.
For instance
, going to a football match is not
only
watching players and goals
but
also
being a part of the cheering crowd.
Secondly
,
people
can have a chance to have a conservation with the performers.
People
could handshake
or
ask for
signatures from their favorite idols.

To conclude
, watching
events
on TV or participating in
live
performances
have their
own
supporters and benefits.
Even though
some
people
enjoy attending
events
in a
live
show
, I prefer to
watch
TV.
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IELTS essay It is better to go out for a live performance (a show or concert) than stay at home watching TV.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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