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Climate change is a big environmental problem that has become critical in last couple of decades. Some people claim that humans should stop burning fossil fuels and use only alternative energy resources, such as wind and solar power. Others say that oil, gas and coal are essential for many industries, and not using them will lead to economic collapse. What is your opinion? Support your point of view with relevant examples. v.1

Climate change is a big environmental problem that has become critical in last couple of decades. Some people claim that humans should stop burning fossil fuels and use only alternative energy resources, such as wind and solar power. Others say that oil, gas and coal are essential for many industries, and not using them will lead to economic collapse. What is your opinion? Support your point of view with relevant examples. v. 1
Climate change is a serious problem for the past years, and it became a worldwide issue. Many environmental activists are trying to recover the Earth with the new alternative energy resources to run the industrial machine rather than using the fossil fuels. Alternative energy resources are the main idea that is developed nowadays. The reason behind this idea is these resources can be renewable and it cannot harm the natural surroundings. Moreover, it can be cheaper than fossil fuels for long time usage. For instance, Netherland is a windy country and it uses the wind to produce electricity around the country. Therefore it has lessened its air pollution. This can be compared to Indonesia, which still uses fossil fuels as the main source. Finally, The air pollution becomes an enormous problem in this country because fossil fuels generate harmful gasses that are dangerous to the human’s respiratory system. On the other hand, natural energy resources may also bring a drawback. Since we are depending on a natural phenomenon, when they do not happen as we expected, (insert comma here) it will disrupt the industrial activities. For example, when Netherland is in summer, which is dry and hot, the electrical power source will have some troubles caused by the lack of wind. Thus, the industries can not use the electricity like they usually use. In the end, it will bring a negative impact, such as lowering their productivity, which will lessen their revenue. Overall, we can conclude that energy resource is very useful to protect our natural environment from chemical residues. In order to keep it sustainable, we need to gain some additional alternative resources to replace the first alternative resource when it does not work.
Climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
is a serious problem for the past years, and it became a worldwide issue.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
environmental activists are trying to recover the Earth with the new alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
resources to run the industrial machine
rather
than using the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
fuels.

Alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
resources are the main
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
is developed
nowadays. The reason behind this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
is these resources can be renewable and it cannot harm the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
surroundings.
Moreover
, it can be cheaper than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
fuels for long time usage.
For instance
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Netherland
is a windy country and it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uses
the wind to produce electricity around the country.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
it has lessened its air pollution. This can
be compared
to Indonesia, which
still
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uses
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
fuels as the main source.
Finally
, The air pollution becomes an enormous problem in this country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
fuels generate harmful gasses that are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
to the human’s respiratory system.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
resources may
also
bring a drawback. Since we
The verb 'depending' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are depending
on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
phenomenon, when they do not happen as we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
, (insert comma here) it will disrupt the industrial activities.
For example
, when
Possible spelling mistake found.
Netherland
is in summer, which is dry and hot, the electrical power source will have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
troubles caused by the lack of wind.
Thus
, the industries can not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
use
the electricity like they
usually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
use
. In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, it will bring a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact, such as lowering their productivity, which will lessen their revenue.

Overall
, we can conclude that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
resource
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful to protect our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
environment from chemical residues. In order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
it sustainable, we need to gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
additional alternative resources to replace the
first
alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
resource
when it does not work.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Climate change is a big environmental problem that has become critical in last couple of decades. Some people claim that humans should stop burning fossil fuels and use only alternative energy resources, such as wind and solar power. Others say that oil, gas and coal are essential for many industries, and not using them will lead to economic collapse. What is your opinion? Support your point of view with relevant examples. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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