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07. 10. 2017There have been some problems with public transportation in your area recently. Write a letter to the management of the public transport company. In your letter-describe the problems-explain how these problems are affecting the public-suggest som v.1

07. 10. 2017There have been some problems with public transportation in your area recently. Write a letter to the management of the public transport company. In your letter-describe the problems-explain how these problems are affecting the public-suggest som v. 1
As technology and medical development rapidly revolutionize our lives, average life expectancy is spiking. Nonetheless, this cause a multitude of problem of individual and community as a whole. Several policies and incentives are being considered to implement on the society in order to alleviate the damage of population ageing. The first problem is elder are often needed to be provided with competent health care along with a trained caregiver as they are unwell and need assistance on a daily basis. Unfortunately, not every family meets the requirements and nursery homes are progressively crammed, thus it is common in developed countries such as the America that elder are left alone or homeless, which is severely dangerous and brutal. Secondly, the vast majority of the pensioners who are 65 and above have retired, nevertheless they still need to be provided with care and finance from the government. This will put pressure on the workforce as they have to work more and pay more tax to support those who have retired. For instance, on average a worker must work to pay for at least two retirees, if this situation prolonged it would stress and damage the country’s economy. To effectively solve this issue, I think government should have policies that encourage families to take care of the elder in order to relieve stress on nursing home. For instance, if a family decided to look after their grandparents, they would receive a supported fee each month. By this way, the elder will be healthier and safer and the hospitals are unlikely to overwork. Another measure is to urge adult to build a family and have children so as to produce a vigorous workforce to replace the ageing population. The new generation would be robust boost and an incentive for the growth of the economy in foreseeable future. In conclusion, the population ageing has a detrimental effect on the elder and the community and emphasize on building and taking care within families can ease harmful impact. People in society should look after one another so we can grow stronger together.
As technology and medical development
rapidly
revolutionize our
lives
, average life expectancy is spiking. Nonetheless, this cause a
multitude of problem
of individual and community as a whole. Several policies and incentives are
being considered
to implement on the society in order to alleviate the
damage of
population
ageing
.

The
first
problem is
elder
are
often
needed to
be provided
with competent health
care
along with a trained caregiver as they are unwell and need assistance on a daily basis. Unfortunately, not every
family
meets the requirements and nursery homes are
progressively
crammed,
thus
it is common in
developed countries
such as the America that
elder
are
left
alone or homeless, which is
severely
dangerous
and brutal.
Secondly
, the vast majority of the pensioners who are 65 and above have retired,
nevertheless
they
still
need to
be provided
with
care
and finance from the
government
. This will put pressure on the workforce as they
have to
work more and pay more tax to support those who have retired.
For instance
, on average a worker
must
work to pay for at least two retirees, if this situation prolonged it would
stress
and damage the country’s economy.

To
effectively
solve this issue, I
think
government
should have policies that encourage
families
to take
care
of the
elder
in order to relieve
stress
on nursing home.
For instance
, if a
family
decided to look after their grandparents, they would receive a supported fee each month. By this way, the
elder
will be healthier and safer and the hospitals are unlikely to overwork. Another measure is to urge adult to build a
family
and have children
so as to
produce a vigorous workforce to replace the
ageing
population. The new generation would be robust boost and an incentive for the growth of the economy in foreseeable future.

In conclusion
, the population
ageing
has a detrimental effect on the
elder
and the community and emphasize on building and taking
care
within
families
can
ease
harmful impact.
People
in society should look after one another
so
we can grow stronger together.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay 07. 10. 2017There have been some problems with public transportation in your area recently. Write a letter to the management of the public transport company. In your letter-describe the problems-explain how these problems are affecting the public-suggest som v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
345 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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