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Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view? v.5

Group of people believe that, compare to other aspects, the government using money on developing arts. Compare to arts, providing education for the children is most important thing. It will improve the quality of life. Student or children's are the basictones of our country. Through the proper education they can easily develope our country. So utilise more money for developing education sector. for example, spent the money for build a government schools and give the students free educational materials. So it will help to build up a developed country. Similarly, utilise this money for building health care industry. Without good health we can not survive in society. This is the most and primary thing in our life. So the government can easily deposit the money for developing the primary health care center. For instance, the people who are ill they can treat their problems with cheap amount. It will decrease our mortality rate. On the other hand, arts also represending our culture and traditions. In our society presence of art college are few. so we can utilize this money for developing arts but without education and health we can not improve our creativities and skills. So I strongly say that utilizes more money on health and education rather than spending it on arts.
Group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that, compare to other aspects, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
. Compare to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
, providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
for the children is
Did you mean "the most"?
most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing. It will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the quality of life. Student or children's are the
Possible spelling mistake found.
basictones
of our country. Through the proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
they can
easily
Possible spelling mistake found.
develope
our country.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
sector.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
example, spent the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for build a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
schools and give the students free educational materials.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to build up a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed country
.
Similarly
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care industry. Without
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
we can not survive in society. This is the most and primary thing in our life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can
easily
deposit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
the primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care center.
For instance
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are ill they can treat their problems with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
amount. It will decrease our mortality rate.
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
also
Possible spelling mistake found.
represending
our culture and traditions. In our society presence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
college are few.
Use a comma before 'so' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
so
we can
Do not mix variants of the same word ('utilize' and 'utilise') within a single text.
utilize
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
we can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our
Possible spelling mistake found.
creativities
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I
strongly
say that
Do not mix variants of the same word ('utilize' and 'utilise') within a single text.
utilizes
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
rather
than spending it on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that government is wasting money on arts and this money could be better spent elsewhere

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
213 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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