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The 20th Century saw great change. In your opinion, what is one change that should be recommended about the 20th century? Use specific reasons and details to explain your choice. v.1

The 20th Century saw great change. In your opinion, what is one change that should be recommended about the 20th century? Use specific reasons and details to explain your choice. v. 1
The traffic congestion and pollution problems cannot be resolved by raising the price of fuel. I completely disagree with the statement, because these kinds of initiatives only put a burden on people. We should and persuade them to shift on the other resources of energy as well as to travel by public transportation. First of all, increasing the value of petrol is not an appropriate solution. Furthermore, it will increase not only the amount of goods, but also accelerate the fares and it will also affect the health department. This increment cannot stop people from travelling because they do work related to their jobs on vehicles not for luxury purposes. For instance, in the seventeenth century, price of petrol rose in the USA to overcome similar problems. However, for just a few months a decline in the car use was observed. After this, it had increased dramatically. Government should play an indispensable role in this matter. It can spread the awareness among humans through a mass medium. The underground or an elevated transportation system is the most effective way to decrease traffic congestion and realize to human beings to travel on a public transport to save their environment. For example, if people will commute on the public transport, it reduces the amount of carbon footprint as well as the traffic volume. Because the major cause these problems are private transport. To conclude, it is not an appropriate way to reduce vehicular density and a carbon footprint by accelerating the fuel prices. Anyone can easily overcome on these burning issues if they will use electric cars or any vehicles that moves on other resources. Also, attract humans towards government transit through low fares.
The traffic congestion and pollution problems cannot
be resolved
by raising the price of fuel. I completely disagree with the statement,
because
these kinds of initiatives
only
put a burden on
people
. We should and persuade them to shift on the other resources of energy
as well
as to travel by public transportation.

First of all
, increasing the value of petrol is not an appropriate solution.
Furthermore
, it will increase not
only
the amount of
goods
,
but
also
accelerate the fares and it will
also
affect the health department. This increment cannot
stop
people
from travelling
because
they do work related to their jobs on vehicles not for luxury purposes.
For instance
, in the seventeenth century, price of petrol rose in the USA to overcome similar problems.
However
, for
just
a few months a decline in the car
use
was observed
. After this, it had increased
dramatically
.

Government
should play an indispensable role in this matter. It can spread the awareness among humans through a mass medium. The underground or an elevated transportation system is the most effective way to decrease traffic congestion and realize to human beings to travel on a public transport to save their environment.
For example
, if
people
will commute on the public transport, it
reduces
the amount of carbon footprint
as well
as the traffic volume.
Because
the major cause these problems are private transport.

To conclude
, it is not an appropriate way to
reduce
vehicular density and a carbon footprint by accelerating the fuel prices. Anyone can
easily
overcome on these burning issues if they will
use
electric cars or any vehicles that
moves
on other resources.
Also
, attract humans towards
government
transit through low fares.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The 20th Century saw great change. In your opinion, what is one change that should be recommended about the 20th century? Use specific reasons and details to explain your choice. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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