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In many places homes need to be build but there is no space. Some say that it is important to protect countryside and not build homes. What is your opinion Give reason and ex v.2

In many places homes need to be build but there is no space. Some say that it is important to protect countryside and not build homes. What is your opinion Give reason and ex v. 2
A rapid increase in the population of the world is witnessed in this century. This raises the issue of providing homes to the people, but due to limited land resources, housing is a common problem in many countries. Putting countryside land for housing purposes is definitely not a viable option, as it will further cause a dearth in the production of crops and other basic needs. Moreover, it will cause the exploitation of the pristine countryside as well. As we all know cities are the preferred location for housing, but overcrowding of the cities has forced the people to move to countryside areas. Using the countryside land for housing will mean less arable land for the purpose of agriculture, this in return will increase the demand for both cash and commercial crops. To illustrate, the land which was earlier being used for agriculture will now be used for housing and the government will have to import crops which were earlier being grown in our own country. Not only the agricultural cycle but the ecological pattern will also get disturbed. More housing facilities in the countryside will definitely attract more population, which in turn will put pressure on the resources available in the countryside. It will also increase the waste and the undisturbed nature of the countryside will start perishing. A survey conducted by the MCD of India shows that some villages which have witnessed population increase have started facing the problem of scarcity of resources and waste disposal as well. Hence, it is important to understand that shifting the excess population to the countryside will not provide a permanent solution. It will further harm the countryside environment and create the same problem that people in the cities are already facing.
A rapid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of the world
is witnessed
in this century. This raises the issue of providing homes to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
due to limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
resources, housing is a common problem in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries. Putting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
for housing purposes is definitely not a viable option, as it will
further
cause a dearth in the production of crops and other basic needs.
Moreover
, it will cause the exploitation of the pristine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
as well
.

As we all know cities are the preferred location for housing,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
overcrowding of the cities has forced the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
areas. Using the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
for housing will mean less arable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
for the purpose of agriculture, this in return will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
the demand for both cash and commercial crops. To illustrate, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
which was earlier being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for agriculture will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for housing and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
import crops which were earlier
being grown
in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
country.

Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the agricultural cycle
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the ecological pattern will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
disturbed. More housing facilities in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
will definitely attract more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
, which in turn will put pressure on the resources available in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
. It will
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
the waste and the undisturbed nature of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
perishing. A survey conducted by the MCD of India
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
villages which have witnessed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
facing the problem of scarcity of resources and waste disposal
as well
.

Hence
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to understand that shifting the excess
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
will not provide a permanent solution. It will
further
harm the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
environment and create the same problem that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the cities are already facing.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay In many places homes need to be build but there is no space. Some say that it is important to protect countryside and not build homes. What is your opinion Give reason and ex v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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