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It the fact that television shows have significant impacts on our current society. While some people consider that a nation’s culture would be better if importing foreign shows, I believe that television producers should also provide local ones. v.2

It the fact that television shows have significant impacts on our current society. While some people consider that a nation’s culture would be better if importing foreign shows, I believe that television producers should also provide local ones. v. 2
It the fact that television shows have significant impacts on our current society. While some people consider that a nation’s culture would be better if importing foreign television shows, I believe that television producers should also provide local ones. One the one hand, there are some enormous benefits from importing foreign films and programs. Firstly, foreign channels are a great source of information, helping people to both enjoy entertainment and acquire cultural values of various countries. For example, the American movie ‘Titanic, for example, not only brings a fascinating content but also provides historical knowledge about migrations from Europe to America. Secondly, individuals may learn useful things from the lifestyle of other communities, and thereby improving their social behaviors. Via Western educational channels, Vietnamese people can acquire the habit of queuing while they are waiting to buy food and drink in the supermarket. On the other hand, It is widely believed that domestic television programs would have positive effects on the identity of the country. Producing local programs could help young people keep traditional beliefs and customs without getting sucked in exotic cultures. For instance, many Vietnamese television programs remind young generations how people celebrate traditional occasions such as Lunar New year Day. Additionally, foreign shows might not be suitable for local residents due to cultural discrepancies. As an example, in Western music channels, singers wearing revealing clothing can negatively influence the elegant lifestyle of young people living in Eastern countries, so replacing them with traditional local programs is essential. In conclusion, While foreign channels could positively affect the culture of the country in several aspects, in my opinion, it is also necessary to create local television shows due to their cultural benefits.
It the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
have significant impacts on our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
society. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider that a nation’s culture would be better if importing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
producers should
also
provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
ones.

Did you mean "on"?
One
the one hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
enormous benefits from importing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
films and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channels
are a great source of information, helping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to both enjoy entertainment and acquire cultural values of various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
For example
, the American movie ‘Titanic,
for example
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
brings a fascinating content
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
provides historical knowledge about migrations from Europe to America.
Secondly
, individuals may learn useful things from the lifestyle of other communities, and thereby improving their social behaviors. Via Western educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channels
, Vietnamese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can acquire the habit of queuing while they are waiting to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
food and drink in the supermarket.

On the other hand
, It is
widely
believed that domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
would have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects on the identity of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Producing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
traditional beliefs and customs without getting sucked in exotic cultures.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Vietnamese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
remind young generations how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
celebrate traditional occasions such as Lunar New year Day.
Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
might not be suitable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
residents due to cultural discrepancies. As an example, in Western music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channels
, singers wearing revealing clothing can
negatively
influence the elegant lifestyle of young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in Eastern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
replacing them with traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
is essential.

In conclusion
, While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channels
could
positively
affect the culture of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
in several aspects, in my opinion, it is
also
necessary to create
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
due to their cultural benefits.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
39Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay It the fact that television shows have significant impacts on our current society. While some people consider that a nation’s culture would be better if importing foreign shows, I believe that television producers should also provide local ones. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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