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There can be several advantages to spending time in another country. Talk about one advantage and explain how living in another country provide that advantage. Use details and examples in your response. v.1

There can be several advantages to spending time in another country. Talk about one advantage and explain how living in another country provide that advantage. Use details and examples in your response. v. 1
A growing number of nuclear family has been a trend over the extended family on the earth. While having a small family would certainly have more advantages of discipline for children, there will also be existed drawbacks on for woman role. One evident benefit to having an elementary family is that it would create more opportunities for children to receive the best educational background. Like, from parents’ experience, they would concentrate to observe and apply the most suitable method in the educational aspect for the development of kids including training logical thinking and soft skills in reality. For instance, a large family has to pay for various expenditures as households, transportation, food which means there will be less spending on a specific requirement, including studies. As a consequence, children could not have a chance to gain a profound knowledge and improve social skills. On the other hand, the obvious disadvantage to have a conjugal family require more responsibilities from parents, especially woman role. Instead of a family with different generations to share household chores, a family having parents and their children expects wife who performs multi-role to take care the foundation need of a family. For instance, beside a 9-to-5 job in the workplace, a mother need to be a cook, babysitters as well as breadwinner to look after the whole family that is such a burden, moreover, minimize time for her nurture. In conclusion, education is a plus point to having a small family, helping better on intellectual and physical skills, whereas a married woman need to be a multi-Tasker in caring family’s members to ensure for living standard fullness.
A growing number of nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
has been a trend over the extended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
on the earth. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
would
certainly
have more advantages of discipline for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, there will
also
be existed
drawbacks on for woman role.

One evident benefit to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
an elementary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is that it would create more opportunities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to receive the best educational background. Like, from parents’ experience, they would concentrate to observe and apply the most suitable method in the educational aspect for the development of kids including training logical thinking and soft
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in reality.
For instance
, a large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
pay for various expenditures as households, transportation, food which means there will be less spending on a specific requirement, including studies. As a consequence,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
could not have a chance to gain a profound knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

On the other hand
, the obvious disadvantage to have a conjugal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
require more responsibilities from parents,
especially
woman role.
Instead
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
generations to share household chores, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
parents and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expects
wife who performs multi-role to take care the foundation need of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
For instance
, beside a 9-to-5 job in the workplace, a mother need to be a cook, babysitters
as well
as breadwinner to look after the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
that is
such a burden,
moreover
, minimize time for her nurture.

In conclusion
, education is a plus point to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, helping better on intellectual and physical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, whereas a married woman need to be a
Possible spelling mistake found.
multi-Tasker
in caring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family’s
members to ensure for living standard fullness.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay There can be several advantages to spending time in another country. Talk about one advantage and explain how living in another country provide that advantage. Use details and examples in your response. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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